the red and blue of me

I had to post this article before it disappears from the web. Tito Aris, my least talkative uncle, was appointed the second highest ranking officer of the Armed Forces of the Philippines last July '04. How did that happen?? My family is weird!

Low-key tactician named military vice-chief

A LOW-KEY military tactician with a flair for mathematics is now the second highest-ranking officer of the Armed Forces of the Philippines (AFP).

Malacañang on Friday named AFP deputy chief of staff Vice Admiral Ariston delos Reyes as the new AFP vice chief of staff, replacing Lt. Gen. Rodolfo Garcia who retired on Wednesday.

Delos Reyes, a member of the controversial Philippine Military Academy Class of 1971, was formerly vice commander of the Philippine Navy. He also served as the AFP's deputy chief of staff for plans and programs (J5) and Chief of the Naval Staff.

He once commanded the Naval Task Force 61 based in Zamboanga City. He was also deputy commander of the Naval Forces West from 1999 to 2000.

He wrote and co-wrote the two-volume "Lessons Learned from AFP Operations Against the Communist Party of the Philippines-New People's Army," a standard text in the AFP's anti-insurgency campaign. Delos Reyes also co-authored a manual for the Navy titled "Typhoon Doctrine for Mariners."

A native of Bulacan, De los Reyes graduated valedictorian from the Caingin Elementary School. He studied at the Torres High School in Tondo, Manila, where he graduated salutatorian.

Delos Reyes took up BS Mathematics at the University of the Philippines but after one year decided to join the Philippine Military Academy.

He graduated second among 108 graduates of his class and first in Mathematics.

I ordered this book a couple of weeks ago from bn.com, but I wasn't home to sign for it so...now I have to pick it up from Pelham!

Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway
By Susan Jeffers

We're all afraid of something : beginnings, endings, changing, getting stuck. But fear doesn't have to hold you back from happiness or success. You can change your relationship with fear — and in this dynamic, inspirational program, Susan Jeffers, Ph.D., teaches compassionate concepts and highly effective exercises that help you unravel the complexities and reverse the effects of fear.

You'll learn:

The five truths about fears
How to weed negatives out of your words and thoughts
How to develop goals that help extend your self-imposed limitations
Don't be prisoner of you own insecurities. Career growth, personal harmony and financial rewards can by yours — when you learn to Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway.

Other books that I need to buy:
-Anatomy of Love: A Natural History of Mating, Marriage, and Why We Stray By: Helen Fisher
-1 of: The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating
By: David M. Buss

I am starting to think that I might be in the wrong profession. I could probably excel in Pyschology or Anthropology.

oh and btw, I HATE MEN!!!!

I'm going to freaking lose it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't get it!!! Some people just .. I don't know.. maybe don't pay attention or just are too freakin stupid. How many times do I have to turn them down, don't answer their calls, tell them I'm not interested, or just completely ignore them!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What is going on?? Do I give out wrong signals? I am NOT nice. I am in fact sometimes very cold, VERY sarcastic and MEAN! I've had it!

Thank goodness for music - one of the truest things in my life

You Don't Know Me - Sessions at AOL Video
I love you Michael Buble!!

if we strip ourselves off of who we think we are - our job, place we live in, car we drive, clothes we wear, money in our bank accounts, level of education - will we be able to face each other and live our lives? often times we try to measure our lives or people we know based on these superficial criterias that are deeply ingrained in our heads. we are so trained to look at what i call "masks" that it becomes hard for us to really see the person behind it. we even sometimes meet people who have perfected the shapes of their masks that they don't even know the real person behind their masks. they're lost somewhere deep down probably screaming for attention.. yearning for help.
this is my dillema. the society in which i live in takes enormous pride on these superficial masks. though i try my best to really get to know people for who they are, i still fail miserably. its so friggin hard to meet real people, have real relationships and fall in love.

what happened to us? i know that the inner-child within each and every one of is still there. the child who just wants to live, enjoy life, dance, sing, laugh, cry & love is there. .. probably just hiding now after going through years of heartaches and pains. but its there. and that's who I want to meet.

the older i get the more i realize what's important in this crazy world I live in.


"You are not your job. You are not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the car you drive. You are not the contents of your wallet. You are not your fucking khakis. You are the all singing, all dancing, crap of the world."
- Tyler Durden from my favorite movie of all time.. Fight Club!

I would like to share a short essay from my very handy book "Don't Sweat The Small Stuff - And its all the small stuff." I've had this book for at least five years and I still learn something new everytime I read it.

Learn to live in the present moment

To a large degree, the measure of our peace of mind is determined by how much we are able to live in the present moment. Irrespective of what happened yesterday or last year, and no matter what may or may not happen tomorrow, the present moment is where you are - always!

Without question, many of us have mastered the neurotic art of spending much of our lives worrying about a variety of things - all at once. We allow past problems and future concerns to dominate our present moments, so much so that we end up anxious, frustrated, depressed, and hopeless. On the flip side, we also postpone our gratification, our stated priorities, and our happiness, often convincing ourselves that "someday" will be better than today. Unfortunately, the same mental dynamics that tell us to look toward the future will only repeat themselves so that "someday" never actually arrives. John Lennon once said, "Life is what's happening when we're busy making other plans." When we're busy making "other plans," our children are busy growing up, the people we love are moving away and dying, our bodies are getting out of shape, and our dreams are slipping away. In short, we miss out on life.

Many people live as if life were a dress rehearsal for some later date. It isn't. In fact, no one has a guarantee that he or she will be here tomorrow. Now is the only time we have, and the only time we have any control over. When our attention is in the present moment, we push fear from our minds. Fear is the concern over events that might happen in the future - we wont have enough money, our children will get into trouble, we will get old and die, whatever.

To combat fear, the best strategy is to learn to bring your attention back to the present. Mark Twain said, "I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened." I don't think I can say it any better. Practice keeping your attention on the here and now. Your efforts will pay great dividends.

Thank goodness I didn't have to do all the things I thought I had to do this morning. Driving to the airport and flying a plane were the last two things I wanted to do after two hours of sleep.

I have lots to say, but I have to go for a run .. It's soo nice out. I want to soak up what's left of Summer.


Chuch, Breakaway is the song written by Avril Lavigne. Behind These Hazel Eyes was written by Kelly herself. Its weird cause the second song sounds more like an Avril song specially the intro and the "uh oh, uh oh" part. Both are great songs, and eventhough I hate to admit it, I like them both. :)



I’ll take a risk, take a chance, make a change and break away!

Breakaway

(Written by M. Gerrard/B. Benante/A. Lavigne)

Grew up in a small town
And when the snow would fall down
I’d just stare out my window
Dreamin’ of what could be
And if I’d end up happy
I would pray

Trying hard to reach out
But when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I prayed I could break away

I’ll spread my wings
And I’ll learn how to fly
I’ll do what it takes
Till I touch the sky
And I’ll make a wish, take a chance, make a change
And break away

Out of the darkness
And into the sun
But I won’t forget all the ones that I love
I’ll take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And break away

Want to feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get on board a fast train
Travel on a jet plane
Far away and break away

Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging round revolving doors
Maybe I don’t know where they’ll take me but
Gotta keep movin’ on movin’ on
Fly away break away

I’ll spread my wings
And I’ll learn how to fly
Though it’s not easy
To tell you goodbye
I gotta take a risk, take a chance make a change
And break away

Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won’t forget the place I come from
I gotta take a risk, take a chance make a change
And break away
Breakaway

Try - Nelly Furtado


All I know
Is everything is not as it's sold
but the more I grow the less I know
And I have lived so many lives
Though I'm not old
And the more I see, the less I grow
The fewer the seeds the more I sow

Then I see you standing there
Wanting more from me
And all I can do is try
Then I see you standing there
Wanting more from me
And all I can do is try

I wish I hadn't seen all of the realness
And all the real people are really not real at all
The more I learn the more I cry
As I say goodbye to the way of life
I thought I had designed for me

Then I see you standing there
Wanting more from me
And all I can do is try
Then I see you standing there
I'm all I'll ever be
But all I can do is try
Try

All of the moments that already passed
We'll try to go back and make them last
All of the things we want each other to be
We never will be
And that's wonderful, and that's life
And that's you, baby
This is me, baby
And we are, we are, we are, we are
Free
In our love
We are free in our love

After a crazy day at work, I went home and watched "A Very Long Engagement" - a very depressing french indie flick. What a story!?! It was so depressing that I found myself balling in the bathroom after watching it! I felt so freaking lonely. It's amazing what movies can do to you.

Well, I'm ok now. It's just hard sometimes when I'm reminded that I am alone... in so many ways. I have my family and friends and I know they will always be there for me but going home to an empty place can be quite painful. Oh well, this is the life I chose to live and signed up for for another year (just renewed my lease!). It's a pain sometimes, but its also a phase I know I have to go through so I can grow as an individual. :P

Currently listening to Michael Buble (my new fave)
Quando Quando Quando

You Don't Know Me

You give your hand to me
And then you say, "Hello."
And I can hardly speak,
My heart is beating so.
And anyone can tell
You think you know me well.
Well, you don't know me.
(no you don't know me)

No you don't know the one
Who dreams of you at night;
And longs to kiss your lips
And longs to hold you tight
Oh I'm just a friend.
That's all I've ever been.
Cause you don't know me.
(no you don't know me)

For I never knew the art of making love,
Though my heart aches with love for you.
Afraid and shy, I let my chance go by.
A chance that you might love me too.
(love me too)

You give your hand to me,
And then you say, "Goodbye."
I watched you walk away,
Beside the lucky gal
Oh, you'll never ever know
The one who loved you so.
Well, you don't know me

(For I never knew the art of making love, )
(Though my heart aches with love for you. )
Afraid and shy, I let my chance go by.
A chance that you might love me too.
(love me too)

Oh, you give your hand to me,
And then you say, "Goodbye."
I watched you walk away,
Beside the lucky gal
Oh, you'll never ever know
The one who loved you so.
Well, you don't know me
(you don't love me, you don't know me)

Bost Legal is back! Woohooo!!!! The next episode will be on Tues, Aug 9th at 10 pm on ABC.

CHUCH, THIS POST IS FOR YOU - "IT'S BEEN A WHILE" BY STAIND!

my telecom networking II class started yesterday. its not that interesting, but its ok i guess. my professor is only 30 yrs old.. :) i think he's single. hmm.. how can one flirt with an online teacher? is that even possible? i really don't feel like studying. maybe i'll just watch tv. afterall, i have not watched tv in over two weeks!!

I can't stop listening to this song!!!!!!

THOUGHT I'D DIED AND GONE TO HEAVEN (Bryan Adams)

Love is forever as I lie awake
Beside you
I believed there's no heaven
No hideaway for the lonely

But I was wrong crazy
It's gotta be strong
It's gotta be right

Only wanted to stay a while
Only wanted to play a while
Then you taught me to fly like a bird

Baby thought I'd died and gone to heaven
Such a night I never had before
Thought I'd died and gone to heaven
Cause what I got there ain't no cure for

Ooo it's so easy
What you do to me all night angel
I never loved - I swear to God
Never needed no one, 'til you came along

Here I come baby
It's gotta be strong - it's gotta be right
Only wanted to stay awhile
Only wanted to play awhile
Then you taught me to fly like a bird

Baby - thought I'd died and gone to heaven
Such a night I never had before
Thought I'd died and gone to heaven
Cause what I got there ain't no cure for

I feel fast asleep - I feel drunk
I dream the sweetest dreams
Never wanna wake up

Never thought it could be this way
No doubt about it - can't live without it
Never thought it could be this good
You made love to me - the way it oughta be

I love my job! I love my job! I love my job! I love my job! I love my job! I love my job! I love my job! :)
Yeah, I do love my job. I can probably do better, but for now I am fine with what I have.

So, here I am working again.. back from my 2 weeks vacation. I needed that vacation. I was turning into a worry-wart and spending time away from it all was good. I needed new influences, to meet new faces and find a fresh outlook to life.

Pics from my Seattle vaca:http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=8AZs3Lly0bNWG9