the red and blue of me

it's saturday morning - 4 days before my wedding. i should be doing lots of things like prepping the house and going food shopping for my 12+ house guests, wrapping all of the gifts for my wedding party, writing thank you notes, writing some email, etc., etc. but instead, i am in bed, in my pj's watching all kinds of commencement speeches. i have watched oprah's speech at stanford u for probably 5x now and everytime i watch it, i learn something new. i just finished watching steve job's speech also at stanford u. they said lots of inspiring and thought - provoking words that I decided to blog about them. below are excerpts from some of the speeches that I really liked:

From Steve Jobs:

1. "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."
2. "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish."
3. "Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever."
   

From Oprah Winfrey:

1. " When you're doing the work you're meant to do, it feels right and every day is a bonus, regardless of what you're getting paid.
2. It's true. And how do you know when you're doing something right? How do you know that? It feels so. What I know now is that feelings are really your GPS system for life. When you're supposed to do something or not supposed to do something, your emotional guidance system lets you know. The trick is to learn to check your ego at the door and start checking your gut instead. Every right decision I've made—every right decision I've ever made—has come from my gut. And every wrong decision I've ever made was a result of me not listening to the greater voice of myself.
3. If it doesn't feel right, don't do it. That's the lesson. And that lesson alone will save you, my friends, a lot of grief. Even doubt means don't. This is what I've learned. There are many times when you don't know what to do. When you don't know what to do, get still, get very still, until you do know what to do.
4. And when you do get still and let your internal motivation be the driver, not only will your personal life improve, but you will gain a competitive edge in the working world as well. Because, as Daniel Pink writes in his best-seller, A Whole New Mind, we're entering a whole new age. And he calls it the Conceptual Age, where traits that set people apart today are going to come from our hearts—right brain—as well as our heads. It's no longer just the logical, linear, rules-based thinking that matters, he says. It's also empathy and joyfulness and purpose, inner traits that have transcendent worth.

These qualities bloom when we're doing what we love, when we're involving the wholeness of ourselves in our work, both our expertise and our emotion.

So, I say to you, forget about the fast lane. If you really want to fly, just harness your power to your passion. Honor your calling. Everybody has one. Trust your heart and success will come to you."

From JK Rowling:

1. "There is an expiry date on blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction; the moment you are old enough to take the wheel, responsibility lies with you."
2. "The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from setbacks means that you are, ever after, secure in your ability to survive. You will never truly know yourself, or the strength of your relationships, until both have been tested by adversity. Such knowledge is a true gift, for all that it is painfully won, and it has been worth more to me than any qualification I ever earned."

From Omid Kordestani

1. He must think and act like an immigrant- discover, be optimistic, and have a sense of place. Don’t let anyone tell you that “you cannot.” Believe in your immigrant routes.
2. Follow your instincts, not the money. Don’t be an engineer just becaused you’re trained, don’t be in i-banking just because of your experience.
3. It’s all about the path. Work and family is still a tough balance- now it is a work-life blend. You’re the never done learning or understanding your ultimate path… don’t be defined or limited by the steps you have taken in life or the degree you have chosen. Don’t worry that you have no idea what you want to do next.

after going through about 8 months of wedding planning, i realize that wedding planning is pretty much part of the wedding/marriage itself. its kindof like a sneak peek in to your soon-to-be married life. it will give you an insight of how you and your hubby-to-be will make decisions together as a couple and as part of each other's families (and friends). it will definitely test your patience, tolerance, creativity, budgeting skills, focus, priorities, likes and dislikes and in a very weird way, wedding planning will bring out the best and worst in you, your friends and families. its true what they say, "life is what happens when you're busy making other plans."

but if you think deeper, you will realize that planning in general will pretty much test you as a person as much as wedding planning does (maybe not to the same extent, but it does). specially if you plan with a group of people. it will test your priorities, focus, skills, personalities, patience, etc., etc. if really sink your teeth in to planning, put your mind where your hands are, and not just focus solely on the goal, you will reap the benefits of planning. i always say that i plan ahead not because i am looking forward to attaining the goal, i plan because i enjoy all the activities, steps and benefits of planning. attaining the goal is just a bonus after all the planning is done.

when people ask me if I am looking forward to the wedding/honeymoon I always pause and then eventually say yes. I pause because I am surprised at their question. I am surprised as to why people don't ask me how I am doing right now. I want to say that I am enjoying all the planning that I am doing right now and all the wedding stuff that I have done. The future right now is kindof just that - the future. My mind, I guess, is more pre-occupied with what's happening right now instead of looking forward in to the future. That probably doesn't make sense to people, but it does to me.