Six Feet Under Time
Thursday, December 22, 2005 by Angel
After a full day of work and family stuff, I come home to gift wrapping and... another two- three chapters of Six Feet Under. Nothing can top this!
I can’t believe it. Christmas is only three days away!!! Woohooo!!! I love this season. I enjoy buying gifts and LOVE wrapping them!! Although I went overboard this year since I splurged on gifts for MYSELF!!! Hehehehe.
I stayed up late last night watching season four of Six Feet Under – one of gifts I bought for myself. Since I don’t have HBO anymore I completely missed the entire fourth (and last season) and so far, the first three chapters were GREAT!! I forget how much I love this show. I was so pleased that I had to call my brother to share my joy which only he can understand – he’s a big fan too!
Current thoughts on relationships:
• No two relationships are the same. As each person you meet is unique, each relationship you have is unique. As much as we would like to compare past relationships with the current (what coulda, woulda, shoulda happened?), I think it is not only useless but also unfair. For we, ourselves, our environment and the person we are in relations with are never really the same.
I am really telling this to myself since comparing relationships used to be my favorite past time. I stopped after figuring out that it’s a waste of time. I was a different person when I was 16, 19, 21 and 25.
• How much would you change for a relationship to work? I guess the answer to this question would depend on how important the relationship is to you.
Other thoughts:
I was recently tagged as a stubborn person. Granted I was born under the fixed Air sign, aquarius - which is the most rebellious, creative and intellectual sign in world of astrology - I was still a bit surprised that one would actually refer to me as stubborn. Hmmm… Thinking about it now, I think I understand why some people would think of me that way. You see, I am only persuaded to change opinions by people I trust and respect. I listen to people’s thoughts, arguments, opinions and keep an open mind. But if I don’t trust and respect them, my opinions will most likely stay the same and they will start thinking of me as stubborn. Eureka!
vaca so close and yet so far!!
Tuesday, November 08, 2005 by Angel
I can't wait til my vaca to Austin! I am soooooo exhausted from work and school!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I miss kuya and some of my friends in TX. Ladi and Geo just bought a 4 br house and it seems like me and kuya are gonna crash there during my stay! FUN!!! FUN!! FUN!!! Although I wouldn't mind staying at kuya's place with huge flat panel & wireless internet.
Life in Austin is so simple and everything is so affordable/attainable. I think of moving there at least once a month.. When I am reminded that my plans of owning a property is faaaaaaaar from reality if I stay here in NY.
Gotta go snoooze!
Life in Austin is so simple and everything is so affordable/attainable. I think of moving there at least once a month.. When I am reminded that my plans of owning a property is faaaaaaaar from reality if I stay here in NY.
Gotta go snoooze!
Happy Halloween!
Monday, October 31, 2005 by Angel
Happy Halloween!!!!!!!
Its Halloween and I am not in the city gawking at people in crazy costumes!! What's up with that?? Instead, I'm here at work eating a banana for dinner, waiting for a report to run. What is wrong with me? I have been working after hours for the past month or so. The funny part is I actually don't mind doing lots of work.
I saw a co-worker/friend this Saturday. I deal with him a lot at work and have lots of fun working with him (we talk about theories on life/relationships -mostly my theories on his life- while we troubleshoot on my server - I sometimes wonder how we get things done!). Anyway, I used to have this theory that the only way one can maintain any kind of friendship with the opposite sex is that at least one has to be attracted to the other. No attraction = no friendship. After seeing him last weekend I realized that I'm not attracted to him. He is attractive, but I personally don't find him attractive. This realization kind of disprove my theory on girl/boy friendship since I don't see myself changing the way we interact with each other. Unless, of course, he is attracted to me which I highly doubt.
It was David's birthday last Oct 29th. I just sent him an e-card.
I might meet a couple of old co-workers sometime this weekend. I want to take them to the city, but I know they would rather prefer CT.
I took my bf to my place of work this Sat to check on a process running on my pc. I showed him around the complex and some of the stuff that I do. He was impressed. I should have felt good that he was impressed, but I didn't. Instead I thought to myself that while I am good, I know I could do better.
Its Halloween and I am not in the city gawking at people in crazy costumes!! What's up with that?? Instead, I'm here at work eating a banana for dinner, waiting for a report to run. What is wrong with me? I have been working after hours for the past month or so. The funny part is I actually don't mind doing lots of work.
I saw a co-worker/friend this Saturday. I deal with him a lot at work and have lots of fun working with him (we talk about theories on life/relationships -mostly my theories on his life- while we troubleshoot on my server - I sometimes wonder how we get things done!). Anyway, I used to have this theory that the only way one can maintain any kind of friendship with the opposite sex is that at least one has to be attracted to the other. No attraction = no friendship. After seeing him last weekend I realized that I'm not attracted to him. He is attractive, but I personally don't find him attractive. This realization kind of disprove my theory on girl/boy friendship since I don't see myself changing the way we interact with each other. Unless, of course, he is attracted to me which I highly doubt.
It was David's birthday last Oct 29th. I just sent him an e-card.
I might meet a couple of old co-workers sometime this weekend. I want to take them to the city, but I know they would rather prefer CT.
I took my bf to my place of work this Sat to check on a process running on my pc. I showed him around the complex and some of the stuff that I do. He was impressed. I should have felt good that he was impressed, but I didn't. Instead I thought to myself that while I am good, I know I could do better.
Dream
Monday, October 24, 2005 by Angel
I sometimes think of my life in pinas as a very, very long dream. Most of the emotions that accompany the memories of the past are gone that I feel like I skipped childhood and started life here in the US when I was 17. But when I get email messages from my relatives and old school mates like the one below, I am reminded of the life I used to have and people I used to know. Its too bad that I haven't been with them for the past 9 years and will continue to miss most of the most important parts of their lives.
My sister is having her first baby this December and an old friend Alex Patacsil (Par) is very ill...
While I cannot be physically with you, my prayers are with you, Ate and Par.
-----------------------------------------
Email from Dennis
we went to see alex last wednesday, jade, mayflor, marian, alex r., duane, info officer astrid, and me. i didn't recognize him when i saw him. except for the fiery eyes that's oh-so par, his body has become so cachectic. he's so weak that duane has to support him when he has to shift from sitting on the sofa to lying down.
i tried asking some details about his illness, alex himself told me he has cancer. of what type, he doesn't know. what's devastating is that he's gone totally blind. when i asked him how he was, he simply said, "it's dark, dennise". what a sad thing for someone whose life is, ironically, with the visual arts. apparently, there's no more option for surgery and he isn't having chemotherapy. but the spirit is still there, our dear old alex, hanging in there and fighting.
so if you can't visit him in no. 5 magiting street, teacher's village, please say a prayer for him.
i hope everybody's doing well, happy, and in good health.
i miss you, batchmates :)
-dennise
My sister is having her first baby this December and an old friend Alex Patacsil (Par) is very ill...
While I cannot be physically with you, my prayers are with you, Ate and Par.
-----------------------------------------
Email from Dennis
we went to see alex last wednesday, jade, mayflor, marian, alex r., duane, info officer astrid, and me. i didn't recognize him when i saw him. except for the fiery eyes that's oh-so par, his body has become so cachectic. he's so weak that duane has to support him when he has to shift from sitting on the sofa to lying down.
i tried asking some details about his illness, alex himself told me he has cancer. of what type, he doesn't know. what's devastating is that he's gone totally blind. when i asked him how he was, he simply said, "it's dark, dennise". what a sad thing for someone whose life is, ironically, with the visual arts. apparently, there's no more option for surgery and he isn't having chemotherapy. but the spirit is still there, our dear old alex, hanging in there and fighting.
so if you can't visit him in no. 5 magiting street, teacher's village, please say a prayer for him.
i hope everybody's doing well, happy, and in good health.
i miss you, batchmates :)
-dennise
Fulfillment
Thursday, October 20, 2005 by Angel
Have you ever wanted something so badly that you were willing to do just about anything to get it? I want to feel that. I want to know what it feels like to be really passionate about something or someone and completely surrender myself – body, soul and mind – to it. I feel like for the longest time I have been comfortably staying at my comfort zones – work, relationships, etc that I really don’t challenge myself enough or give myself a stronger push. I know how to do a lot of things but I really wouldn’t consider myself an expert on any one thing (based on my definition of expertise). I feel like if I focus on just one thing, I can be really good at it. I need some sleep. I am not making much sense.
TGIF!!!
TGIF!!!
unreal!!!
by Angel
I don't remember EVER feeling this PISSED OFF before. AAARRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I HATE PEOPLE! I HATE PEOPLE! I HATE PEOPLE! I HATE PEOPLE! I HATE PEOPLE! I HATE PEOPLE! I HATE PEOPLE! I HATE PEOPLE! I HATE PEOPLE! DON'T EVER TRUST ANY OF YOUR CO-WORKERS!!!!! EVER!!! I should know this. Out of all people, I should be the one to know what this person is about! BUT... since I have become this weakling and try so hard to be a nice person, I started making friends AT WORK!! I FEEL SO FREAKIN BETRAYED!!
So I didn't win mega millions!
Wednesday, October 19, 2005 by Angel
- I knew I wasn't going to win. I don't win anything based on luck
There are rumors spreading that by the end of the year, my company might not renew its lease of the building where I work. If that happens, I might be forced to work from the city… which is ok. I would just have to endure a more painful commute and challenging transition since I have been working at the same building for more than six years (7 in Jan 2006). Yes, I have been driving to and from one location every single weekday and some weekends for more than six years.
Since everything else around me changes, I wanted this one part of my life to stay the same. I guess no one can escape the only constant thing in life – change.
Other Updates:
Currently reading: Acting Stupid by Kevin Sheehan
Comments: I really enjoy this book since it was written by an old co-worker and the characters in it were based on my other co-workers. Hmmmm.. if people, who don’t know my old co-workers, read this book, would they find it as interesting as I do?
I received a phone call from an old friend the other day. It was a bit weird but was ok overall.
Work is ok. Love life is ok. Family life is ok. Everything is a OK.
There are rumors spreading that by the end of the year, my company might not renew its lease of the building where I work. If that happens, I might be forced to work from the city… which is ok. I would just have to endure a more painful commute and challenging transition since I have been working at the same building for more than six years (7 in Jan 2006). Yes, I have been driving to and from one location every single weekday and some weekends for more than six years.
Since everything else around me changes, I wanted this one part of my life to stay the same. I guess no one can escape the only constant thing in life – change.
Other Updates:
Currently reading: Acting Stupid by Kevin Sheehan
Comments: I really enjoy this book since it was written by an old co-worker and the characters in it were based on my other co-workers. Hmmmm.. if people, who don’t know my old co-workers, read this book, would they find it as interesting as I do?
I received a phone call from an old friend the other day. It was a bit weird but was ok overall.
Work is ok. Love life is ok. Family life is ok. Everything is a OK.
Update
Tuesday, October 18, 2005 by Angel
Wow... It's been a while since my last post. I've been very busy with everything that's going on that I haven't had time to sit down and update this online journal. I'll make sure to post some updates soon!!!
My Car Is Back!!!!
Wednesday, September 14, 2005 by Angel
I feel complete now. :) I really, really, really missed my car!! I missed it so much that I was willing to fork out some of my money to get it out of the shop (well, I eventually get the money back anyway). I am more relaxed now. :) I literally couldn't stop thinking about it for the past few days.
I think this experience made me realize how much I like my own car and am not ready to let it go yet. Having the chance to drive a "better" car was something I had to do to in order to stop thinking of buying a new car. The convertible was nice, but I like my Corolla better!!
I think this experience made me realize how much I like my own car and am not ready to let it go yet. Having the chance to drive a "better" car was something I had to do to in order to stop thinking of buying a new car. The convertible was nice, but I like my Corolla better!!
new song that's stuck in my head
Tuesday, September 06, 2005 by Angel
Breathe (2am) - Anna Nalick
2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,
"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?
I don't love him, winter just wasn't my season."
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to critisize, hypocrites you're all here for the very same reason
'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable
and life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button girl,
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe, just breathe,
Woah breathe, just breathe.
May he turn 21 on the base of Fort Bliss
"Just a day" he said down to the flask in his fist,
"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year."
here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,
But my God it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,
Wanna hold him, maybe I'll just sing about it.
Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button boys,
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe, just breathe,
oh breathe, just breathe
There's a light at each end of this tunnel, you shout
'Cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you only try turnin' around.
2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, its no longer
inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to.
And I feel like I'm naked in front of a crowd
'Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to.
But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
and breathe, just breathe
Woah breathe, just breathe,
oh breathe, just breathe
breathe, just breathe
2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,
"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?
I don't love him, winter just wasn't my season."
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to critisize, hypocrites you're all here for the very same reason
'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable
and life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button girl,
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe, just breathe,
Woah breathe, just breathe.
May he turn 21 on the base of Fort Bliss
"Just a day" he said down to the flask in his fist,
"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year."
here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,
But my God it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,
Wanna hold him, maybe I'll just sing about it.
Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button boys,
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe, just breathe,
oh breathe, just breathe
There's a light at each end of this tunnel, you shout
'Cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you only try turnin' around.
2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, its no longer
inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to.
And I feel like I'm naked in front of a crowd
'Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to.
But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
and breathe, just breathe
Woah breathe, just breathe,
oh breathe, just breathe
breathe, just breathe
"Turn Off The Light"
Thursday, September 01, 2005 by Angel
"Turn Off The Light" - Nelly Furtado
It's getting so lonely inside this bed
Don't know if I should lick my wounds or say woe is me instead
And there's an aching inside my head
It's telling me I'm better off alone
But after midnight morning will come
And the day will see if you will get some
They say that girl ya know she act too tough tough tough
Well it's till' I turn off the light, turn off the light
They say that girl you know she act so rough rough rough
Well it's till' I turn off the light, turn off the light
And I say follow me follow me follow me down down down down
till' you see all my dreams
Not everything in this magical world is quite what it seems
I looked above the other day
Cuz I think I'm good and ready for a change
I live my life by the moon
If it's high play it low, if it's harvest go slow and if it's full, then go
But after midnight morning will come
And the day will see if you're gonna get some
I'm searching for things that I just cannot see
Why don't you don't you don't you come and be with me
I pretend to be cool with me, want to believe
That I can do it on my own without my heart on my sleeve
I'm running, I'm running, catch up with me life
Where is the love that I'm looking to find
It's all in me, can't you see, why can't you, why can't you see it's all in me
Where is your logic
Who do you need
Where can you turn in your delicate time of need
Follow me down, follow me down down down,
I do not need I do not need nobody
Where is your logic
Who do you need
Where can you turn in your delicate time of need
It's getting so lonely inside this bed
Don't know if I should lick my wounds or say woe is me instead
And there's an aching inside my head
It's telling me I'm better off alone
But after midnight morning will come
And the day will see if you will get some
They say that girl ya know she act too tough tough tough
Well it's till' I turn off the light, turn off the light
They say that girl you know she act so rough rough rough
Well it's till' I turn off the light, turn off the light
And I say follow me follow me follow me down down down down
till' you see all my dreams
Not everything in this magical world is quite what it seems
I looked above the other day
Cuz I think I'm good and ready for a change
I live my life by the moon
If it's high play it low, if it's harvest go slow and if it's full, then go
But after midnight morning will come
And the day will see if you're gonna get some
I'm searching for things that I just cannot see
Why don't you don't you don't you come and be with me
I pretend to be cool with me, want to believe
That I can do it on my own without my heart on my sleeve
I'm running, I'm running, catch up with me life
Where is the love that I'm looking to find
It's all in me, can't you see, why can't you, why can't you see it's all in me
Where is your logic
Who do you need
Where can you turn in your delicate time of need
Follow me down, follow me down down down,
I do not need I do not need nobody
Where is your logic
Who do you need
Where can you turn in your delicate time of need
My Uncle
Wednesday, August 31, 2005 by Angel
I had to post this article before it disappears from the web. Tito Aris, my least talkative uncle, was appointed the second highest ranking officer of the Armed Forces of the Philippines last July '04. How did that happen?? My family is weird!
Low-key tactician named military vice-chief
A LOW-KEY military tactician with a flair for mathematics is now the second highest-ranking officer of the Armed Forces of the Philippines (AFP).
Malacañang on Friday named AFP deputy chief of staff Vice Admiral Ariston delos Reyes as the new AFP vice chief of staff, replacing Lt. Gen. Rodolfo Garcia who retired on Wednesday.
Delos Reyes, a member of the controversial Philippine Military Academy Class of 1971, was formerly vice commander of the Philippine Navy. He also served as the AFP's deputy chief of staff for plans and programs (J5) and Chief of the Naval Staff.
He once commanded the Naval Task Force 61 based in Zamboanga City. He was also deputy commander of the Naval Forces West from 1999 to 2000.
He wrote and co-wrote the two-volume "Lessons Learned from AFP Operations Against the Communist Party of the Philippines-New People's Army," a standard text in the AFP's anti-insurgency campaign. Delos Reyes also co-authored a manual for the Navy titled "Typhoon Doctrine for Mariners."
A native of Bulacan, De los Reyes graduated valedictorian from the Caingin Elementary School. He studied at the Torres High School in Tondo, Manila, where he graduated salutatorian.
Delos Reyes took up BS Mathematics at the University of the Philippines but after one year decided to join the Philippine Military Academy.
He graduated second among 108 graduates of his class and first in Mathematics.
Low-key tactician named military vice-chief
A LOW-KEY military tactician with a flair for mathematics is now the second highest-ranking officer of the Armed Forces of the Philippines (AFP).
Malacañang on Friday named AFP deputy chief of staff Vice Admiral Ariston delos Reyes as the new AFP vice chief of staff, replacing Lt. Gen. Rodolfo Garcia who retired on Wednesday.
Delos Reyes, a member of the controversial Philippine Military Academy Class of 1971, was formerly vice commander of the Philippine Navy. He also served as the AFP's deputy chief of staff for plans and programs (J5) and Chief of the Naval Staff.
He once commanded the Naval Task Force 61 based in Zamboanga City. He was also deputy commander of the Naval Forces West from 1999 to 2000.
He wrote and co-wrote the two-volume "Lessons Learned from AFP Operations Against the Communist Party of the Philippines-New People's Army," a standard text in the AFP's anti-insurgency campaign. Delos Reyes also co-authored a manual for the Navy titled "Typhoon Doctrine for Mariners."
A native of Bulacan, De los Reyes graduated valedictorian from the Caingin Elementary School. He studied at the Torres High School in Tondo, Manila, where he graduated salutatorian.
Delos Reyes took up BS Mathematics at the University of the Philippines but after one year decided to join the Philippine Military Academy.
He graduated second among 108 graduates of his class and first in Mathematics.
Books
Tuesday, August 30, 2005 by Angel
I ordered this book a couple of weeks ago from bn.com, but I wasn't home to sign for it so...now I have to pick it up from Pelham!
Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway
By Susan Jeffers
We're all afraid of something : beginnings, endings, changing, getting stuck. But fear doesn't have to hold you back from happiness or success. You can change your relationship with fear — and in this dynamic, inspirational program, Susan Jeffers, Ph.D., teaches compassionate concepts and highly effective exercises that help you unravel the complexities and reverse the effects of fear.
You'll learn:
The five truths about fears
How to weed negatives out of your words and thoughts
How to develop goals that help extend your self-imposed limitations
Don't be prisoner of you own insecurities. Career growth, personal harmony and financial rewards can by yours — when you learn to Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway.
Other books that I need to buy:
-Anatomy of Love: A Natural History of Mating, Marriage, and Why We Stray By: Helen Fisher
-1 of: The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating
By: David M. Buss
I am starting to think that I might be in the wrong profession. I could probably excel in Pyschology or Anthropology.
Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway
By Susan Jeffers
We're all afraid of something : beginnings, endings, changing, getting stuck. But fear doesn't have to hold you back from happiness or success. You can change your relationship with fear — and in this dynamic, inspirational program, Susan Jeffers, Ph.D., teaches compassionate concepts and highly effective exercises that help you unravel the complexities and reverse the effects of fear.
You'll learn:
The five truths about fears
How to weed negatives out of your words and thoughts
How to develop goals that help extend your self-imposed limitations
Don't be prisoner of you own insecurities. Career growth, personal harmony and financial rewards can by yours — when you learn to Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway.
Other books that I need to buy:
-Anatomy of Love: A Natural History of Mating, Marriage, and Why We Stray By: Helen Fisher
-1 of: The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating
By: David M. Buss
I am starting to think that I might be in the wrong profession. I could probably excel in Pyschology or Anthropology.
ARGGGGHHHH!!!
by Angel
I'm going to freaking lose it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't get it!!! Some people just .. I don't know.. maybe don't pay attention or just are too freakin stupid. How many times do I have to turn them down, don't answer their calls, tell them I'm not interested, or just completely ignore them!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What is going on?? Do I give out wrong signals? I am NOT nice. I am in fact sometimes very cold, VERY sarcastic and MEAN! I've had it!
I don't get it!!! Some people just .. I don't know.. maybe don't pay attention or just are too freakin stupid. How many times do I have to turn them down, don't answer their calls, tell them I'm not interested, or just completely ignore them!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What is going on?? Do I give out wrong signals? I am NOT nice. I am in fact sometimes very cold, VERY sarcastic and MEAN! I've had it!
Monday, August 22, 2005 by Angel
Thank goodness for music - one of the truest things in my life
You Don't Know Me - Sessions at AOL Video
I love you Michael Buble!!
You Don't Know Me - Sessions at AOL Video
I love you Michael Buble!!
stop me from thinking...
by Angel
if we strip ourselves off of who we think we are - our job, place we live in, car we drive, clothes we wear, money in our bank accounts, level of education - will we be able to face each other and live our lives? often times we try to measure our lives or people we know based on these superficial criterias that are deeply ingrained in our heads. we are so trained to look at what i call "masks" that it becomes hard for us to really see the person behind it. we even sometimes meet people who have perfected the shapes of their masks that they don't even know the real person behind their masks. they're lost somewhere deep down probably screaming for attention.. yearning for help.
this is my dillema. the society in which i live in takes enormous pride on these superficial masks. though i try my best to really get to know people for who they are, i still fail miserably. its so friggin hard to meet real people, have real relationships and fall in love.
what happened to us? i know that the inner-child within each and every one of is still there. the child who just wants to live, enjoy life, dance, sing, laugh, cry & love is there. .. probably just hiding now after going through years of heartaches and pains. but its there. and that's who I want to meet.
the older i get the more i realize what's important in this crazy world I live in.
"You are not your job. You are not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the car you drive. You are not the contents of your wallet. You are not your fucking khakis. You are the all singing, all dancing, crap of the world."
- Tyler Durden from my favorite movie of all time.. Fight Club!
this is my dillema. the society in which i live in takes enormous pride on these superficial masks. though i try my best to really get to know people for who they are, i still fail miserably. its so friggin hard to meet real people, have real relationships and fall in love.
what happened to us? i know that the inner-child within each and every one of is still there. the child who just wants to live, enjoy life, dance, sing, laugh, cry & love is there. .. probably just hiding now after going through years of heartaches and pains. but its there. and that's who I want to meet.
the older i get the more i realize what's important in this crazy world I live in.
"You are not your job. You are not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the car you drive. You are not the contents of your wallet. You are not your fucking khakis. You are the all singing, all dancing, crap of the world."
- Tyler Durden from my favorite movie of all time.. Fight Club!
Learn to live in the present moment
Sunday, August 21, 2005 by Angel
I would like to share a short essay from my very handy book "Don't Sweat The Small Stuff - And its all the small stuff." I've had this book for at least five years and I still learn something new everytime I read it.
Learn to live in the present moment
To a large degree, the measure of our peace of mind is determined by how much we are able to live in the present moment. Irrespective of what happened yesterday or last year, and no matter what may or may not happen tomorrow, the present moment is where you are - always!
Without question, many of us have mastered the neurotic art of spending much of our lives worrying about a variety of things - all at once. We allow past problems and future concerns to dominate our present moments, so much so that we end up anxious, frustrated, depressed, and hopeless. On the flip side, we also postpone our gratification, our stated priorities, and our happiness, often convincing ourselves that "someday" will be better than today. Unfortunately, the same mental dynamics that tell us to look toward the future will only repeat themselves so that "someday" never actually arrives. John Lennon once said, "Life is what's happening when we're busy making other plans." When we're busy making "other plans," our children are busy growing up, the people we love are moving away and dying, our bodies are getting out of shape, and our dreams are slipping away. In short, we miss out on life.
Many people live as if life were a dress rehearsal for some later date. It isn't. In fact, no one has a guarantee that he or she will be here tomorrow. Now is the only time we have, and the only time we have any control over. When our attention is in the present moment, we push fear from our minds. Fear is the concern over events that might happen in the future - we wont have enough money, our children will get into trouble, we will get old and die, whatever.
To combat fear, the best strategy is to learn to bring your attention back to the present. Mark Twain said, "I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened." I don't think I can say it any better. Practice keeping your attention on the here and now. Your efforts will pay great dividends.
Learn to live in the present moment
To a large degree, the measure of our peace of mind is determined by how much we are able to live in the present moment. Irrespective of what happened yesterday or last year, and no matter what may or may not happen tomorrow, the present moment is where you are - always!
Without question, many of us have mastered the neurotic art of spending much of our lives worrying about a variety of things - all at once. We allow past problems and future concerns to dominate our present moments, so much so that we end up anxious, frustrated, depressed, and hopeless. On the flip side, we also postpone our gratification, our stated priorities, and our happiness, often convincing ourselves that "someday" will be better than today. Unfortunately, the same mental dynamics that tell us to look toward the future will only repeat themselves so that "someday" never actually arrives. John Lennon once said, "Life is what's happening when we're busy making other plans." When we're busy making "other plans," our children are busy growing up, the people we love are moving away and dying, our bodies are getting out of shape, and our dreams are slipping away. In short, we miss out on life.
Many people live as if life were a dress rehearsal for some later date. It isn't. In fact, no one has a guarantee that he or she will be here tomorrow. Now is the only time we have, and the only time we have any control over. When our attention is in the present moment, we push fear from our minds. Fear is the concern over events that might happen in the future - we wont have enough money, our children will get into trouble, we will get old and die, whatever.
To combat fear, the best strategy is to learn to bring your attention back to the present. Mark Twain said, "I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened." I don't think I can say it any better. Practice keeping your attention on the here and now. Your efforts will pay great dividends.
I’ll take a risk, take a chance, make a change and break away
Saturday, August 20, 2005 by Angel
Thank goodness I didn't have to do all the things I thought I had to do this morning. Driving to the airport and flying a plane were the last two things I wanted to do after two hours of sleep.
I have lots to say, but I have to go for a run .. It's soo nice out. I want to soak up what's left of Summer.
Chuch, Breakaway is the song written by Avril Lavigne. Behind These Hazel Eyes was written by Kelly herself. Its weird cause the second song sounds more like an Avril song specially the intro and the "uh oh, uh oh" part. Both are great songs, and eventhough I hate to admit it, I like them both. :)
I have lots to say, but I have to go for a run .. It's soo nice out. I want to soak up what's left of Summer.
Chuch, Breakaway is the song written by Avril Lavigne. Behind These Hazel Eyes was written by Kelly herself. Its weird cause the second song sounds more like an Avril song specially the intro and the "uh oh, uh oh" part. Both are great songs, and eventhough I hate to admit it, I like them both. :)
one of those nights
Wednesday, August 10, 2005 by Angel
After a crazy day at work, I went home and watched "A Very Long Engagement" - a very depressing french indie flick. What a story!?! It was so depressing that I found myself balling in the bathroom after watching it! I felt so freaking lonely. It's amazing what movies can do to you.
Well, I'm ok now. It's just hard sometimes when I'm reminded that I am alone... in so many ways. I have my family and friends and I know they will always be there for me but going home to an empty place can be quite painful. Oh well, this is the life I chose to live and signed up for for another year (just renewed my lease!). It's a pain sometimes, but its also a phase I know I have to go through so I can grow as an individual. :P
Currently listening to Michael Buble (my new fave)
Quando Quando Quando
Well, I'm ok now. It's just hard sometimes when I'm reminded that I am alone... in so many ways. I have my family and friends and I know they will always be there for me but going home to an empty place can be quite painful. Oh well, this is the life I chose to live and signed up for for another year (just renewed my lease!). It's a pain sometimes, but its also a phase I know I have to go through so I can grow as an individual. :P
Currently listening to Michael Buble (my new fave)
Quando Quando Quando
You Don't Know Me
by Angel
You Don't Know Me
You give your hand to me
And then you say, "Hello."
And I can hardly speak,
My heart is beating so.
And anyone can tell
You think you know me well.
Well, you don't know me.
(no you don't know me)
No you don't know the one
Who dreams of you at night;
And longs to kiss your lips
And longs to hold you tight
Oh I'm just a friend.
That's all I've ever been.
Cause you don't know me.
(no you don't know me)
For I never knew the art of making love,
Though my heart aches with love for you.
Afraid and shy, I let my chance go by.
A chance that you might love me too.
(love me too)
You give your hand to me,
And then you say, "Goodbye."
I watched you walk away,
Beside the lucky gal
Oh, you'll never ever know
The one who loved you so.
Well, you don't know me
(For I never knew the art of making love, )
(Though my heart aches with love for you. )
Afraid and shy, I let my chance go by.
A chance that you might love me too.
(love me too)
Oh, you give your hand to me,
And then you say, "Goodbye."
I watched you walk away,
Beside the lucky gal
Oh, you'll never ever know
The one who loved you so.
Well, you don't know me
(you don't love me, you don't know me)
You give your hand to me
And then you say, "Hello."
And I can hardly speak,
My heart is beating so.
And anyone can tell
You think you know me well.
Well, you don't know me.
(no you don't know me)
No you don't know the one
Who dreams of you at night;
And longs to kiss your lips
And longs to hold you tight
Oh I'm just a friend.
That's all I've ever been.
Cause you don't know me.
(no you don't know me)
For I never knew the art of making love,
Though my heart aches with love for you.
Afraid and shy, I let my chance go by.
A chance that you might love me too.
(love me too)
You give your hand to me,
And then you say, "Goodbye."
I watched you walk away,
Beside the lucky gal
Oh, you'll never ever know
The one who loved you so.
Well, you don't know me
(For I never knew the art of making love, )
(Though my heart aches with love for you. )
Afraid and shy, I let my chance go by.
A chance that you might love me too.
(love me too)
Oh, you give your hand to me,
And then you say, "Goodbye."
I watched you walk away,
Beside the lucky gal
Oh, you'll never ever know
The one who loved you so.
Well, you don't know me
(you don't love me, you don't know me)
my fave tv show is back!
Sunday, August 07, 2005 by Angel
Bost Legal is back! Woohooo!!!! The next episode will be on Tues, Aug 9th at 10 pm on ABC.
It's Been A While by Staind
Saturday, August 06, 2005 by Angel
CHUCH, THIS POST IS FOR YOU - "IT'S BEEN A WHILE" BY STAIND!
back 2 school
Wednesday, August 03, 2005 by Angel
my telecom networking II class started yesterday. its not that interesting, but its ok i guess. my professor is only 30 yrs old.. :) i think he's single. hmm.. how can one flirt with an online teacher? is that even possible? i really don't feel like studying. maybe i'll just watch tv. afterall, i have not watched tv in over two weeks!!
THOUGHT I'D DIED AND GONE TO HEAVEN
by Angel
I can't stop listening to this song!!!!!!
THOUGHT I'D DIED AND GONE TO HEAVEN (Bryan Adams)
Love is forever as I lie awake
Beside you
I believed there's no heaven
No hideaway for the lonely
But I was wrong crazy
It's gotta be strong
It's gotta be right
Only wanted to stay a while
Only wanted to play a while
Then you taught me to fly like a bird
Baby thought I'd died and gone to heaven
Such a night I never had before
Thought I'd died and gone to heaven
Cause what I got there ain't no cure for
Ooo it's so easy
What you do to me all night angel
I never loved - I swear to God
Never needed no one, 'til you came along
Here I come baby
It's gotta be strong - it's gotta be right
Only wanted to stay awhile
Only wanted to play awhile
Then you taught me to fly like a bird
Baby - thought I'd died and gone to heaven
Such a night I never had before
Thought I'd died and gone to heaven
Cause what I got there ain't no cure for
I feel fast asleep - I feel drunk
I dream the sweetest dreams
Never wanna wake up
Never thought it could be this way
No doubt about it - can't live without it
Never thought it could be this good
You made love to me - the way it oughta be
THOUGHT I'D DIED AND GONE TO HEAVEN (Bryan Adams)
Love is forever as I lie awake
Beside you
I believed there's no heaven
No hideaway for the lonely
But I was wrong crazy
It's gotta be strong
It's gotta be right
Only wanted to stay a while
Only wanted to play a while
Then you taught me to fly like a bird
Baby thought I'd died and gone to heaven
Such a night I never had before
Thought I'd died and gone to heaven
Cause what I got there ain't no cure for
Ooo it's so easy
What you do to me all night angel
I never loved - I swear to God
Never needed no one, 'til you came along
Here I come baby
It's gotta be strong - it's gotta be right
Only wanted to stay awhile
Only wanted to play awhile
Then you taught me to fly like a bird
Baby - thought I'd died and gone to heaven
Such a night I never had before
Thought I'd died and gone to heaven
Cause what I got there ain't no cure for
I feel fast asleep - I feel drunk
I dream the sweetest dreams
Never wanna wake up
Never thought it could be this way
No doubt about it - can't live without it
Never thought it could be this good
You made love to me - the way it oughta be
Back to reality
by Angel
I love my job! I love my job! I love my job! I love my job! I love my job! I love my job! I love my job! :)
Yeah, I do love my job. I can probably do better, but for now I am fine with what I have.
So, here I am working again.. back from my 2 weeks vacation. I needed that vacation. I was turning into a worry-wart and spending time away from it all was good. I needed new influences, to meet new faces and find a fresh outlook to life.
Pics from my Seattle vaca:http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=8AZs3Lly0bNWG9
Yeah, I do love my job. I can probably do better, but for now I am fine with what I have.
So, here I am working again.. back from my 2 weeks vacation. I needed that vacation. I was turning into a worry-wart and spending time away from it all was good. I needed new influences, to meet new faces and find a fresh outlook to life.
Pics from my Seattle vaca:http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=8AZs3Lly0bNWG9
Bike Trailways in Westchester
Tuesday, July 12, 2005 by Angel
My new baby!!!
Saturday, July 09, 2005 by Angel
My baby!!! Specialized SIRRUSEXPERIENCE: FITNESS RIDING / COMMUTE / ERGONOMIC ROADEvery Sirrus offers the experience of speed and the agility of a road racing bike, alongside enhanced ergonomics and the control of a flat handlebar. If you’re serious about fitness or commuting, the Sirrus is a fun choice that comes attitude-free and comfort-rich. They’re perfect machines for moderate duration road rides, event rides, commuting, or fitness-based riding.
- Lightweight Specialized A1 Premium Aluminum double-butted frame
- Smooth-shifting Shimano Sora 21-speed drive train with convenient Easy Fire shifters
- Medically proven Body Geometry Milano total comfort saddle
- Puncture-resistant All Condition 700 x 28c tires with Flak Jacket aramid tread compound
- Sealed Specialized alloy hubs with lightweight Alex double wall rims
- Comfrotable Tranz-X full alloy 40mm travel suspension seatpost
http://www.specialized.com/bc/SBCBkModel.jsp?spid=9354&bikeTab=features
confused & biking :)
by Angel
I've learned to stay still when I'm confused. I thought I've found what I was looking for, but it turns out that what I was looking for is not what I need. This is good. At least I know now what I don't need. :)
On a lighter note, I had sooooo much fun biking with friends last Saturday! Riding 14 miles in the city - through traffic and crazy people - was a piece of cake! Hehehe! This shouldn't surprise me since I used to do 7 miles in 30 minutes on stationary bikes. I cannot wait til I purchase my own bike and ride ride ride! As long as I keep my focus and momentum, I know that I can really be good at this.
Below are some pics from last weekend's events:
at central park
at long beach, long island
On a lighter note, I had sooooo much fun biking with friends last Saturday! Riding 14 miles in the city - through traffic and crazy people - was a piece of cake! Hehehe! This shouldn't surprise me since I used to do 7 miles in 30 minutes on stationary bikes. I cannot wait til I purchase my own bike and ride ride ride! As long as I keep my focus and momentum, I know that I can really be good at this.Below are some pics from last weekend's events:
at central park
at long beach, long island
Watershed by Indigo Girls
Wednesday, July 06, 2005 by Angel
I have lots of thoughts in my head that I would rather share a song than try to write them all down..
Watershed by Indigo Girls
Thought I knew my mind like the back of my hand,
The gold and the rainbow, but nothing panned out as I planned.
And they say only milk and honey's gonna make your soul satisfied!
Well I better learn how to swim
Cause the crossing is chilly and wide.
Twisted guardrail on the highway, broken glass on the cement
A ghost of someone's tragedy
How recklessly my time has been spent.
And they say that it's never too late, but you don't get any younger!
Well I better learn how to starve the emptiness
And feed the hunger
Up on the watershed, standing at the fork in the road
You can stand there and agonize
Till your agony's your heaviest load.
You'll never fly as the crow flies, get used to a country mile.
When you're learning to face the path at your pace
Every choice is worth your while.
Well there's always retrospect to light a clearer path
Every five years or so I look back on my life
And I have a good laugh.
You start at the top, go full circle round
Catch a breeze, take a spill
But ending up where i started again makes me wanna stand still.
Stepping on a crack, breaking up and looking back
Every tree limb overhead just seems to sit and wait.
Until every step you take becomes a twist of fate.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Watershed by Indigo Girls
Thought I knew my mind like the back of my hand,
The gold and the rainbow, but nothing panned out as I planned.
And they say only milk and honey's gonna make your soul satisfied!
Well I better learn how to swim
Cause the crossing is chilly and wide.
Twisted guardrail on the highway, broken glass on the cement
A ghost of someone's tragedy
How recklessly my time has been spent.
And they say that it's never too late, but you don't get any younger!
Well I better learn how to starve the emptiness
And feed the hunger
Up on the watershed, standing at the fork in the road
You can stand there and agonize
Till your agony's your heaviest load.
You'll never fly as the crow flies, get used to a country mile.
When you're learning to face the path at your pace
Every choice is worth your while.
Well there's always retrospect to light a clearer path
Every five years or so I look back on my life
And I have a good laugh.
You start at the top, go full circle round
Catch a breeze, take a spill
But ending up where i started again makes me wanna stand still.
Stepping on a crack, breaking up and looking back
Every tree limb overhead just seems to sit and wait.
Until every step you take becomes a twist of fate.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Do you have to let it linger
Saturday, June 25, 2005 by Angel
And I’m in so deep
You know I’m such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to. do you have to
Do you have to let it linger
You know I’m such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to. do you have to
Do you have to let it linger
Friday afternoon - bored at work
Friday, June 24, 2005 by Angel
Everytime someone new enters our lives, we have to at some point share our past experiences and give insights about our future goals. Although I don't fully agree, people find this a good way to get to know other people better. I personally like sharing some stories about my past. Mostly because now I can laugh at things that I had done or past events that used to give me all kinds of emotions. I embrace them now and know that they were necessary for me to become the person that I am now.
I believe that every moment of our lives has a purpose and everything happens for a reason.
I believe that every moment of our lives has a purpose and everything happens for a reason.
Baby, thought I'd died and gone to heaven!!
Sunday, June 12, 2005 by Angel
AMAZING! AMAZING! AMAZING! AMAZING! AMAZING! AMAZING! AMAZING! AMAZING! AMAZING! AMAZING! AMAZING! AMAZING! AMAZING! AMAZING!
I'm speechless! My weekend in Atlantic City (AC) was close to perfection (no Scrabble :( ). First of, Borgata Hotel is probably the best hotel there is in AC! It's classy, not tacky, neat and just better than the rest. Its location is great too since its way off the strip - away from the crazy crowds and normal AC scene... Secondly, the Los Lonely Boys - Santana concert was totally out of this world. How can it not be with all the talented musicians in both bands and me sitting on the 4th row??!! Dennis Chambers was just Supercalifragilisticespialidocious (how do u spell that word??)! Henry from Los Lonely Boys (the really cute one) was AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME!!!!!! How can a normal human being play the guitar like that? He must have some supernatural powers! ! Lastly, let’s not forget the master, Carlos Santana. (I bow down to you, Carlos!) He can make still make the guitar (and I) cry. I love his music. I close my eyes and I can still feel the magic I felt from the concert.
- Link to my future wedding song: Europa Please listen to this song in a dimly lit, quiet place to get its full effect.
- Meet Carlos Santana's current band line up
Line Up
- Two of my favorite Los Lonely Boys songs: Onda
and Dime Mi Amor
I have no pics to post since cameras were not allowed during the show.
I'm speechless! My weekend in Atlantic City (AC) was close to perfection (no Scrabble :( ). First of, Borgata Hotel is probably the best hotel there is in AC! It's classy, not tacky, neat and just better than the rest. Its location is great too since its way off the strip - away from the crazy crowds and normal AC scene... Secondly, the Los Lonely Boys - Santana concert was totally out of this world. How can it not be with all the talented musicians in both bands and me sitting on the 4th row??!! Dennis Chambers was just Supercalifragilisticespialidocious (how do u spell that word??)! Henry from Los Lonely Boys (the really cute one) was AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME!!!!!! How can a normal human being play the guitar like that? He must have some supernatural powers! ! Lastly, let’s not forget the master, Carlos Santana. (I bow down to you, Carlos!) He can make still make the guitar (and I) cry. I love his music. I close my eyes and I can still feel the magic I felt from the concert.
- Link to my future wedding song: Europa Please listen to this song in a dimly lit, quiet place to get its full effect.
- Meet Carlos Santana's current band line up
Line Up
- Two of my favorite Los Lonely Boys songs: Onda
and Dime Mi Amor
I have no pics to post since cameras were not allowed during the show.
New blog site
Friday, June 10, 2005 by Angel
check out my test msn blog site: http://spaces.msn.com/members/angelyson/
by Angel
:( Chuchi!!!! Who's gonna play Scrabble with me tomorrow?? Fred loses ALL THE TIME!! He's boring! :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( BOOOOOHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
we'll say we didn't know, we didn't even try
Thursday, June 09, 2005 by Angel
Take a listen
Falling Is Like This
You give me that look that's like laughing
with liquid in your mouth
like you're choosing between choking
and spitting it all out
like you're trying to fight gravity
on a planet that insists
that love is like falling
and falling is like this
Feels like reckless driving when we're talking
It's fun while it lasts, and it's faster than walking
But no one's going to sympathize when we crash
They'll say "you hit what you head for, you get what you ask"
and we'll say we didn't know, we didn't even try
one minute there was road beneath us, the next just sky
I'm sorry I can't help you, I cannot keep you safe
I'm sorry I can't help myself, so don't look at me that way
we can't fight gravity on a planet that insists
that love is like falling
and falling is like this.
- Ani Di Franco
Falling Is Like This
You give me that look that's like laughing
with liquid in your mouth
like you're choosing between choking
and spitting it all out
like you're trying to fight gravity
on a planet that insists
that love is like falling
and falling is like this
Feels like reckless driving when we're talking
It's fun while it lasts, and it's faster than walking
But no one's going to sympathize when we crash
They'll say "you hit what you head for, you get what you ask"
and we'll say we didn't know, we didn't even try
one minute there was road beneath us, the next just sky
I'm sorry I can't help you, I cannot keep you safe
I'm sorry I can't help myself, so don't look at me that way
we can't fight gravity on a planet that insists
that love is like falling
and falling is like this.
- Ani Di Franco
Sabado
Sunday, June 05, 2005 by Angel
I partied with a bunch of Asians to 'celebrate' a friend’s last night in town. It was ok. Since I’m getting sick of club dancing (I’m getting old), I had to force myself to dance and interact with new acquaintances. One even poured bottles of water on me and me on him since it got crazy hot inside.
I did meet some interesting people though. One of them creates maps for living (which is really cool!), travels like crazy and flies huge kites as a hobby. Another one is a co-founder of a software development company in the city (what the freak!?). And the one I had water fight with is a web engineer who lives in Time Square (I want to live there too!). Super achieving Asians! I hate them all! Well, I don’t really hate them. They actually inspire me and challenge me to do better. Hell, I’m going to start looking for big ass kites and experience the fun I’ve been missing!
I did meet some interesting people though. One of them creates maps for living (which is really cool!), travels like crazy and flies huge kites as a hobby. Another one is a co-founder of a software development company in the city (what the freak!?). And the one I had water fight with is a web engineer who lives in Time Square (I want to live there too!). Super achieving Asians! I hate them all! Well, I don’t really hate them. They actually inspire me and challenge me to do better. Hell, I’m going to start looking for big ass kites and experience the fun I’ve been missing!
Saturday, June 04, 2005 by Angel
I have tons of school work to finish by the end of the weekend and have not done any of them. I have, however, done my laundry, changed the bed sheets, redecotated the bathroom and am thinking of cleaning the tub!! I have accomplished to completely divert my focus from school work to basically everything else. Now I am thinking of working out.. Better luck tomorrow school work.
blah blah blah session
Friday, June 03, 2005 by Angel
I am enjoying a nice quiet evening all to myself. The lights are low, I listen to my fave music while I enjoy a glass of Disaronno on the rocks.
I talked to my brother yesterday. I needed that talk. I was feeling a bit out of it and just talking to him was comforting and reassuring... Its nice to have somebody who is always there to listen and give support.
---------------------------------------------
You're in and out up and down
Wonder if you're lost or found
But I got my hands on you
Are you strong enough to tow the line
Are you gonna make me yours
Or do I make you mine
I'm in and out I'm up and down
Wonder if I'm lost or found
But I need your hands on me now
But you don't need my pictures on your wall
You say you need no one
And you don't need my secret midnight call
I guess you need no one
Is anybody waiting at home for you
Cause it's time that will tell if it's heaven if it's hell or if it's
Anybody waiting at home for you
Cause it's time that will tell this tale
-Train
I talked to my brother yesterday. I needed that talk. I was feeling a bit out of it and just talking to him was comforting and reassuring... Its nice to have somebody who is always there to listen and give support.
---------------------------------------------
You're in and out up and down
Wonder if you're lost or found
But I got my hands on you
Are you strong enough to tow the line
Are you gonna make me yours
Or do I make you mine
I'm in and out I'm up and down
Wonder if I'm lost or found
But I need your hands on me now
But you don't need my pictures on your wall
You say you need no one
And you don't need my secret midnight call
I guess you need no one
Is anybody waiting at home for you
Cause it's time that will tell if it's heaven if it's hell or if it's
Anybody waiting at home for you
Cause it's time that will tell this tale
-Train
Flip Stuff
by Angel
Important Info to commemorate the month of the Philippine's Independence Day
- Philippine Independence celebration on Madison Ave. in NYC Sunday, June 5, 2005 • Parade starts 11:45 AM at 41st St., ends 2:30 PM at 27th St. • Street Fair 24th - 26th St. 10 AM to 6 PM • Cultural Festival north of 23rd St. 2:30 - 5:30 PM
- New York Filipino Film Fest - June 10-16
- Philippine Independence celebration in Passaic, NJ Sunday, June 12, 2005, with parade followed by all-day cultural show plus booths, exhibits, items for sale and lots of Filipino food at Third Ward Memorial Park, Passaic
- New York City area residents will be able to see the second annual lighting of the Empire State Building with the colors of the Philippine flag on June 15 and 16, 2005. The lighting ceremony, to be held at the Philippine Center on Wednesday, June 15th, will be hosted by the Philippine Consulate General and CORE. The event will be topped off by "Harnessing Individual Successes Toward Collective Empowerment," CORE's annual networking event for young professionals. The event highlights the empowering experiences and inspiring stories of a panel of accomplished Filipino Americans. Learn more about this event and register online! The registration price increases by $10 after June 8.
Wednesday, June 01, 2005 by Angel
I was supposed to go out for a couple of drinks with some friends tonight but I decided to stay home and work my buns off instead. In fact, I'm still in my workout clothes stinking like crazy. I need to take a shower!!!
Tuesday, May 31, 2005 by Angel
Disaronno! My current favorite drink! It has all the flavors that I love - coffee and chocolate! Thanks to a good friend for getting me a whole bottle..Its on top of the fridge right now begging for some attention.
Saturday, May 28, 2005 by Angel
This picture was taken seven years ago in Westchester Community College.
L-R: Me, Michelle (the first to get married), Laarnie and Sweet.
Ahhh.. The good old days.
tonight
Thursday, May 26, 2005 by Angel
I wanted to post something, but I am really really tired.
I just have to say that I had a good time with old and new friends tonight at the rehearsal dinner. :) I know tomorrow will be just as great maybe even better.. :p
I just have to say that I had a good time with old and new friends tonight at the rehearsal dinner. :) I know tomorrow will be just as great maybe even better.. :p
the language or the kiss
Tuesday, May 24, 2005 by Angel
i don’t know if it was real or in a dream
lately waking up i’m not sure where i’ve been
there was a table set for six and five were there
i stood outside and kept my eyes upon that empty chair
and there was steam on the windows from the kitchen
laughter like a language i once spoke with ease
but i’m made mute by the virtue of decision
i choose most of your life goes on without me
oh the fear i’ve known that i might reap the praise
of strangers and end up on my own
all i’ve sown was a song but maybe i was wrong
i said to you the one gift which i’d adore
unwrap a package of the next 10 years unfolding
but you told me if i had my way i’d be bored
right then i knew i loved you best born of your scolding
when we last talked we were lying on our backs
looking up at the sky through the ceiling
i used to lie like that alone out on the driveway
trying to read the greek upon the stars
the alphabet of feeling
oh i knew back then
it was a calling that said if joy then pain
the sound of the voice these years later
is still the same
i am alone in a hotel room tonight
i squeeze the sky out but there’s not a star appears
begin my studies with this paper and this pencil
and i’m working through the grammar of my fears
mercy what i won’t give to have the things that mean the most
not to mean the things i miss
unforgiving the choice still is the language or the kiss
by Indigo Girls
lately waking up i’m not sure where i’ve been
there was a table set for six and five were there
i stood outside and kept my eyes upon that empty chair
and there was steam on the windows from the kitchen
laughter like a language i once spoke with ease
but i’m made mute by the virtue of decision
i choose most of your life goes on without me
oh the fear i’ve known that i might reap the praise
of strangers and end up on my own
all i’ve sown was a song but maybe i was wrong
i said to you the one gift which i’d adore
unwrap a package of the next 10 years unfolding
but you told me if i had my way i’d be bored
right then i knew i loved you best born of your scolding
when we last talked we were lying on our backs
looking up at the sky through the ceiling
i used to lie like that alone out on the driveway
trying to read the greek upon the stars
the alphabet of feeling
oh i knew back then
it was a calling that said if joy then pain
the sound of the voice these years later
is still the same
i am alone in a hotel room tonight
i squeeze the sky out but there’s not a star appears
begin my studies with this paper and this pencil
and i’m working through the grammar of my fears
mercy what i won’t give to have the things that mean the most
not to mean the things i miss
unforgiving the choice still is the language or the kiss
by Indigo Girls
I'm still at work
Thursday, May 19, 2005 by Angel
I like working when there are no distractions. I put my headphones on, listen to Beth Hart and work on my databases. It's sad, but I can do this for hours. If I am into something, I try not to stop until I am done.
For some reason I think I am able to know myself more when I limit my interaction with people. I can think more clearly without bias or influence from other people's opinions. Of course, if I do need questions answered, I do seek advise and ask for information.
Ok, I better go have dinner, work out then do some school work. :)
For some reason I think I am able to know myself more when I limit my interaction with people. I can think more clearly without bias or influence from other people's opinions. Of course, if I do need questions answered, I do seek advise and ask for information.
Ok, I better go have dinner, work out then do some school work. :)
Thank goodness this day is almost over
Tuesday, May 17, 2005 by Angel
Whew! I was so stressed out at work today that my left eyelid started to twitch! Seriously, its like everybody decided to send in reporting requests and wanted them all done yesterday. On top of all that, one of the webforms started generating errors! I first thought that problem was not going to be something that I had to fix since it looked like an issue with user permissions. I was even relieved since I anticipated that all I had to do was open a ticket and let the server guy handle the rest. But, nope nope nope. After having the server guy troubleshoot for more than an hour with no luck, I started to look through lines and lines of codes, which somebody else wrote, find the cause of the error and fix the friggin problem. Troubleshooting with him was not a big deal (we even laughed and made jokes in Tagalog being that he's also Filipino), but I was kinda hoping that he was going to fix at least one problem for me. Today I wished I had a partner, like before, that can actually help me and knows more than I do.
Serious Stuff
Monday, May 16, 2005 by Angel
I had somewhat of a serious conversation with a co-worker today. This rarely happens since I try to maintain a safe distance between people I work with. But this afternoon was different.
He ended a 9-year relationship with his ex-gf mainly because he doesn’t see himself marrying her anytime in the future. He does however see himself getting married, but not to her. Not to the woman that he loved for nine years. Isn’t life just great??!!
I feel his pain simply because I have been there and until now I am confused as to why things are never simple.
The man I had a relationship with for almost four years loved me (probably still does) with all his heart and was probably willing to do everything for me and yet I couldn’t love him back. He would probably be a great dad, provider and husband but there was nothing for me to give to him in return. And the most f&cked up part is I do find myself getting married and having kids in the future. I can see myself being totally committed to someone and trying to make it last, but not to him.
If I can’t love a person who loves me, who the heck can I love???????
I need some sleep!
He ended a 9-year relationship with his ex-gf mainly because he doesn’t see himself marrying her anytime in the future. He does however see himself getting married, but not to her. Not to the woman that he loved for nine years. Isn’t life just great??!!
I feel his pain simply because I have been there and until now I am confused as to why things are never simple.
The man I had a relationship with for almost four years loved me (probably still does) with all his heart and was probably willing to do everything for me and yet I couldn’t love him back. He would probably be a great dad, provider and husband but there was nothing for me to give to him in return. And the most f&cked up part is I do find myself getting married and having kids in the future. I can see myself being totally committed to someone and trying to make it last, but not to him.
If I can’t love a person who loves me, who the heck can I love???????
I need some sleep!
You've Got To Show
Sunday, May 15, 2005 by Angel
Before I head back home...
You've Got To Show by IG
Yes it’s true I’ve gotten very moody over you
Don’t think I don’t sense your caution way across the room
Or across the phone lines, big black ocean, or conversation brief
We can’t find a clear connection, and I can’t get relief
Why don’t we both agree we’re both afraid and too afraid to say
If I say count to three and move toward me, would you meet me half the way
There are a thousand things about me I want only you to know
But I can’t do it alone, you’ve got to show
While you occupy me I command my dreams each day
To bring you in me even thinly as the morning chases you away
I half believe if I just picture us we will come true
Wishful thinking or my dreams sinking half depends on you
Show me you are fully alive
If you want to fly you take this dive
If you want to kiss, kiss for real
I’ll give you back everything you feel
Drive in space that peaceful place
You’d be my secret sharer
Front and back and all around the thin margin of error
Move too fast or move too or somewhere in between
Navigate the perfect distance so your getaway is clean
Why don’t we both agree we’re both afraid and too afraid to say
If I say count to three and move toward me would you meet me half way
There are a thousand things about me I want only you to know
But I can’t go there alone, you’ve got to show
You've Got To Show by IG
Yes it’s true I’ve gotten very moody over you
Don’t think I don’t sense your caution way across the room
Or across the phone lines, big black ocean, or conversation brief
We can’t find a clear connection, and I can’t get relief
Why don’t we both agree we’re both afraid and too afraid to say
If I say count to three and move toward me, would you meet me half the way
There are a thousand things about me I want only you to know
But I can’t do it alone, you’ve got to show
While you occupy me I command my dreams each day
To bring you in me even thinly as the morning chases you away
I half believe if I just picture us we will come true
Wishful thinking or my dreams sinking half depends on you
Show me you are fully alive
If you want to fly you take this dive
If you want to kiss, kiss for real
I’ll give you back everything you feel
Drive in space that peaceful place
You’d be my secret sharer
Front and back and all around the thin margin of error
Move too fast or move too or somewhere in between
Navigate the perfect distance so your getaway is clean
Why don’t we both agree we’re both afraid and too afraid to say
If I say count to three and move toward me would you meet me half way
There are a thousand things about me I want only you to know
But I can’t go there alone, you’ve got to show
Working on a Sunday afternoon
by Angel
SLOW.....................................
I figured I would work on some of my reports today so that my macros would run faster (since I'll be the only user hitting on the database server), but I was wrong. It might be my PC and not the network or database server that is functioning at a snail-like speed after afterall. I think its time for a late Spring PC cleaning.
Currently listening to: MAMA by Beth Hart
I figured I would work on some of my reports today so that my macros would run faster (since I'll be the only user hitting on the database server), but I was wrong. It might be my PC and not the network or database server that is functioning at a snail-like speed after afterall. I think its time for a late Spring PC cleaning.
Currently listening to: MAMA by Beth Hart
Random Thoughts
Saturday, May 14, 2005 by Angel
I believe that things happen for a reason. People act and react a certain way to cause an effect that is meant to happen. This way of thinking keeps me together and helps me keep the strength to face anything that comes my way and faith that eventually all things will be ok. This also enables me to not worry or complain too much and enjoy life as much as I can. Worrying really does nothing but waste your precious energy and time. Complaining is another good way to waste energy and time, but can also be a healthy way to express emotions as long as actions are taken as a result to eliminate its root cause.
I also believe that as long as you accept people for who they are and don’t expect them to do things that they normally wouldn’t do (or try to change them), you will lessen the chances of getting disappointed, upset or hurt (by them). This is easier said than done since I still get frustrated with my mother once in a while.
Life is too short. We really should try to enjoy it often.
"We are here for such a short time so it is imperative to make that time count. No one wants a life filled with regrets. Love like there is no tomorrow, because in the end, love is the only thing that counts. "
-Dr. Ellen Kreidman
(this is also easier said than done.)
I also believe that as long as you accept people for who they are and don’t expect them to do things that they normally wouldn’t do (or try to change them), you will lessen the chances of getting disappointed, upset or hurt (by them). This is easier said than done since I still get frustrated with my mother once in a while.
Life is too short. We really should try to enjoy it often.
"We are here for such a short time so it is imperative to make that time count. No one wants a life filled with regrets. Love like there is no tomorrow, because in the end, love is the only thing that counts. "
-Dr. Ellen Kreidman
(this is also easier said than done.)
Short Update
Wednesday, May 11, 2005 by Angel
I don't have a lot of updates to share. I have been pretty much an active observer these past few days. I observe how people act and react and learn more about them and about life in general in the process. I am quite pleased to say that I am lucky to have surrounded myself with great influences and quite a positive atmosphere. I also am lucky to have a job that I enjoy and have co-workers that are fun to work with. I have in some way figured out how to make my work likeable again. I think of the things that I do as a means to help others instead of just creating crapolla. Lastly, I have found out that most of the people I know believe in love and have great trust in it. (That’s kind of refreshing to know.)
Aside from being a good observer, I have also been enjoying the great music of Beth Hart. She has such an amazing and powerful voice! I cannot stop listening to
http://www.bethhart.com/leavethelighton.ram
Aside from being a good observer, I have also been enjoying the great music of Beth Hart. She has such an amazing and powerful voice! I cannot stop listening to
http://www.bethhart.com/leavethelighton.ram
I leave the light on
Monday, May 09, 2005 by Angel
I ain't that bad I'm just messed up
I ain't that sad but I'm sad enough
Cause I wanna love
I wanna live
I don't know much about it
I never did,
I don't know what to do, can the damage be undone
I swore to God that I'd never be what I've become
Lucky stars and fairy tales
I'm gonna bathe myself in a wishin' well
Pretty scars from cigarettes
I never will forget, I never will forget
I'm still afraid to be alone
wish that moon would follow me home
I leave the light on
I ain't that bad I'm just messed up
I ain't that sad but I'm sad enough
God bless the child with the dirty face who cuts her luck with a dirty ace
She leaves the light on, I leave that light on
-Beth Hart
I ain't that sad but I'm sad enough
Cause I wanna love
I wanna live
I don't know much about it
I never did,
I don't know what to do, can the damage be undone
I swore to God that I'd never be what I've become
Lucky stars and fairy tales
I'm gonna bathe myself in a wishin' well
Pretty scars from cigarettes
I never will forget, I never will forget
I'm still afraid to be alone
wish that moon would follow me home
I leave the light on
I ain't that bad I'm just messed up
I ain't that sad but I'm sad enough
God bless the child with the dirty face who cuts her luck with a dirty ace
She leaves the light on, I leave that light on
-Beth Hart
New Idea
Monday, May 02, 2005 by Angel
I just thought of a great reason to travel across the USA [or some parts of it]... to dine at all Chinatowns in USA! So far, I've gone to NYC (of course), SF, LA, DC & Boston. I still have to go to: Chicago, Portland, Houston, Sacramento and Seattle. Not a bad idea, huh? This is exciting!!!! I might have to go to Boston and LA again to take some pictures.... hehehe.. :)
Rob Thomas @ 930 Club in DC
Sunday, May 01, 2005 by Angel
I am soooo tired!! The drive back from DC took a lot out of me... It felt like it took forever! I'd do it over again though. Rob Thomas was awesome and I was able to hang out downtown DC, their small Chinatown and have bubble tea.
View All Pics
View All Pics
Digital Cameras: The Essential Buying Guide
Thursday, April 28, 2005 by Angel
I thought I'd help some of you folks out there who are currently looking to buy a digital cam..
Taken from PCMAG.com
Zeroing in on the digital camera best suited to your needs can be difficult, especially with the complex array of features and functions available. Not to worry. These 10 buying tips will help you find a camera that fits your needs, budget, and shooting style.
1. Select a digital camera with a maximum resolution that meets your largest output you're likely to want. If you want to make 8-by-10 prints, we recommend a 4-megapixel model, though a 3MP camera will do the job. A good 8-megapixel camera can take you all the way up to 16-by-20 prints. If all you want is to take pictures for e-mail or the Web, even 2MP camera will suffice. And remember, megapixels correspond only to image size, not quality.
2. Make sure the camera has the right features for your needs, such as video recording, an optical zoom lens—perhaps even manual controls and a histogram. If you wear eyeglasses but like to take pictures without them, make sure that your camera has a focusable diopter, which lets you adjust the focus of the viewfinder so you can see your subject clearly.
3. Choose a model with a bright LCD so you can see it when shooting outdoors. And make sure the screen is large enough so you can easily compose and review your images on the camera.
4. When comparing costs, don't forget to calculate the extras that may or may not be included, such as rechargeable batteries and a charger, , and a memory card with a high enough capacity to hold all your pictures until you can download them to a PC.
5. Nearly all digital cameras have a USB interface. For higher-megapixel models, try to find one that supports USB 2.0 so you can transfer large image files quickly.
6. When looking at digital cameras with a zoom lens, what counts is the optical zoom—not the digital zoom. Digital zoom is actually a software function that involves cropping and magnifying an image, resulting in a loss of image quality.
7. If you don't know an f-stop from a white balance, a digital camera that has lots of modes and manual settings will generally be overkill for your needs, as well as being higher in price and more difficult to use.
8. Look for a digital camera that comes with a pocket-size instruction manual instead of one on a CD-ROM. It's easier to consult when you're out shooting.
9. For small, young, or arthritic hands, look for a digital camera with a limited number of buttons, and make sure they're large and easy to access and press.
10. Test how fast the camera performs. You will probably be unhappy with any digital camera that takes longer than 4 seconds to boot up or longer than 6 seconds between shots.
SOME USEFUL LINKS:
- PCWorld's How To Buy A Digital Camera
- PCMag's Digital Cameras Product Guide
- ZDNET's Editor Top Cameras
Megapixel A measure of a digital camera's resolution. A one-megapixel rating means that the camera can capture up to 1 million pixels, or points of data.
Pixel A point of data in a digital image; the word is short for picture element. A digital camera's resolution is a measure of the number of pixels it can capture on its image sensor.
Interpolation (I like this word) A process that increases the image file size and can occur either in your camera or by computer software. Interpolation allows a picture to be magnified but does not improve image quality and can decrease sharpness. It is the opposite of compression.
The Goddess of Happiness on Perfection: Why It's Really Overrated
Wednesday, April 27, 2005 by Angel
Another article from iVillage that I thought I'd share....
Women in particular seem to be conditioned to spend their entire lives chasing someone else's definition of perfection. The perfect face without wrinkles or prominent features, and a body without one dimple of cellulite! Have you ever met anyone like this? The perfect entertaining skills, where you gather the twigs and leaves you'll be gluing together for the table centerpiece prior to preparing a dinner from scratch for 12. Do you even own a glue gun? The perfect man who treats you like a queen, loves your mother and never leaves his dirty socks on the floor. Are you sure he's straight? C'mon, women ?- what 1950s sitcom are you living in? None of these scenarios resemble real life.
Women in particular seem to be conditioned to spend their entire lives chasing someone else's definition of perfection. The perfect face without wrinkles or prominent features, and a body without one dimple of cellulite! Have you ever met anyone like this? The perfect entertaining skills, where you gather the twigs and leaves you'll be gluing together for the table centerpiece prior to preparing a dinner from scratch for 12. Do you even own a glue gun? The perfect man who treats you like a queen, loves your mother and never leaves his dirty socks on the floor. Are you sure he's straight? C'mon, women ?- what 1950s sitcom are you living in? None of these scenarios resemble real life.
Think of perfection as the carrot on the end of a stick mounted to your head. You keep thinking you can grab it if you run hard enough, and sometimes you can get a little taste of it, but it's never enough. You want the whole thing, and even if you get that, right around the corner is another carrot waiting to be chased. You'll grow old and angry chasing perfection. So why bother? Wouldn't you rather spend time playing with your kids instead of mopping the kitchen floor? Wouldn't you rather look unique instead of like a mannequin? Wouldn't you rather be happy instead of perfect? I know I would, because when you're happy, everything is perfect.
Here, then, are three ways to stop chasing perfection:
- Redefine reality from what you see in the media to what you see around you in real life.
- Love your unique traits; they make you interesting to others.
- Be perfectly happy by enjoying everything you are and everything you have... every day.
Bunch of Fluff
by Angel
I’m at the airport waiting to board. My plane doesn’t leave until 1:53pm. I attended Geo and Ladie’s wedding last Saturday. While everyone said it was one of the most sincere weddings they’ve seen, I feel like its just one of your ordinary weddings. Don't get me wrong. The wedding itself was awesome! The location and food were great and I had a really good time. But I didn't sense anything extraordinary. What the heck is wrong with me? It's as though I have lost a part of my brain that helped me feel anything more than the ordinary high's and low's. I don’t even feel bad about spending money anymore. I also don’t stress out at work. Honestly, work is starting to lose its lustre. I create things that are not important. Well, people make them look like they are important to basically make themselves look important. Because deep inside they know that what they do is nothing but crapolla. I feel like that guy in the movie Office Space. Well, its time to board. Hopefully the weather in Chicago is fine.
THE NETS KILLED THE LOSERS!!!!
Wednesday, April 20, 2005 by Angel
GO VINCE!!!!
This victory is sooo sweet since I freakin' HATE Boston Celtics - specifically Paul Pierce!!!! I thought my team was going to let me down when I saw them get trounced by Magic and then by T-wolves...live in NJ! But with the help of the mighty Vince Carter, they were able to GAIN THE FINAL SPOT just hours ago!!! GO NETS! GO NETS! GO NETS! GO NETS! GO NETS! I will definitely get some playoff tkts!!!!
http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/gameupdate?gameId=250420002
4 Simple Things You Can Do to Boost Emotional Energy
Tuesday, April 19, 2005 by Angel
Ok. I am procastinating yet again. I don't feel like doing school work right now, so I am browsing the net to get some new info/trivia/trash news, etc. Below is an interesting article from iVillage.com. My comments are in RED
4 Simple Things You Can Do to Boost Emotional Energy
Feeling drained? YES! Surprisingly, it might be your spirit -- and not your body -- that needs a jolt. "Just as physical energy comes from diet, exercise and rest, emotional energy comes from the ways you take care of yourself emotionally -- living in a way that makes you feel inspired, hopeful, self-confident, playful, loving and in touch with what you care about most," says Mira Kirshenbaum, author of The Emotional Energy Factor: The Secrets High-Energy People Use to Beat Emotional Fatigue. Letting others walk all over you or failing to do things that make you happy zaps your emotional energy -- and can leave you feeling unmotivated and even physically tired. HMMM.. To avoid such weariness, here are Kirshenbaum's four tips for boosting your emotional energy:
1. Stop living to please other people. In other words, marry the charming social worker whom you love instead of the rich doctor mom is pushing on you. BUT I'M WAITING FOR DR. KOVAC!! Move to Europe if it will make you happy, even if your girlfriends are making you feel guilty about putting distance between you. LIVE ABROAD! THAT'S AN IDEA! HOW ABOUT MOVE TO HONG KONG? BUT WAIT A MINUTE, I'M ALREADY LIVING ABROAD. Say no when someone asks you to do something you really don't want to do. Be who you want to be, do what you want to do and the rewards will be plentiful, says Kirshenbaum. "When you live your life for other people, you put out the effort, but they get the benefit," she adds. "This creates an energy drain, just the way it would if you did the work on a job and someone else got the paycheck." You'll free up energy you didn't even know you had once you quit worrying about what mom, your friends and other family members think about your decisions. HMM.. I DON'T COOK. I SELDOM CLEAN THE BATHROOM. I'M SINGLE. I THINK I GOT THIS ONE COVERED!
2. Bring positive people into your world. You need to surround yourself with people who care about and support you even in your darkest hours. Avoid those who nag, complain or involve you in their problems, says Kirshenbaum. BUT MOST WOMEN COMPLAIN. SOMETIMES ALL THEY DO IS COMPLAIN! Toxic people, who put you down to lift their own spirits, suck the life right out of you. Spending more time with those who make you feel good about yourself or inspire you in some way will revive you. Maybe it's time to start ignoring your so-called friend who leaves messages on your machine only when she needs help with something.
3. Always have something big and new on your agenda. Plan that next vacation or start writing that novel you have in your head. Looking forward to milestones and events stimulates people. It gives you a reason to get out of bed in the morning, and that increases your desire to work toward your goals. "You gain energy from the hopes you have for your future? making your present feel more manageable, and that, too, frees up emotional energy," says Kirshenbaum. Actually putting the wheels in motion (for example, calling the travel agent, writing the outline for the book) will also make you feel better -- and excited to keep it up. I'M GOING TO HONG KONG IN JULY, GOING TO WATCH SANTANA IN JUNE, ROB THOMAS NEXT WEEKEND AND I AM FLYING TO TX THIS FRIDAY. I GOT THIS ONE DOWN!!!
4. Never live in the past. Quit dwelling on what might have happened with that old boyfriend if you had just stayed together, why you quit one job in favor of another, what would have been if you made different decisions. I THINK I'M GOING TO START CRYING NOW! :( Instead, focus on the here and now and what you need to do to move forward. Do you want to go back to school? NEVER LEFT SCHOOL Find a husband? NOPE Change careers? MAYBE Be more adventurous? MAYBE Put the spark back in your romance? N/A "You are in charge of the meaning in your life," Kirshenbaum writes in her book. Although you can't predict everything that will happen to you, you can make a flexible plan to accomplish your goals. Things like your career path, UNLESS OF COURSE I GET LAID OFF OR SOMETHING relationships in which you'd like to invest and how you would like to spend your free time are all under your control. You can decide your own destiny, an important task that will be much easier now that you have more energy.
4 Simple Things You Can Do to Boost Emotional Energy
Feeling drained? YES! Surprisingly, it might be your spirit -- and not your body -- that needs a jolt. "Just as physical energy comes from diet, exercise and rest, emotional energy comes from the ways you take care of yourself emotionally -- living in a way that makes you feel inspired, hopeful, self-confident, playful, loving and in touch with what you care about most," says Mira Kirshenbaum, author of The Emotional Energy Factor: The Secrets High-Energy People Use to Beat Emotional Fatigue. Letting others walk all over you or failing to do things that make you happy zaps your emotional energy -- and can leave you feeling unmotivated and even physically tired. HMMM.. To avoid such weariness, here are Kirshenbaum's four tips for boosting your emotional energy:
1. Stop living to please other people. In other words, marry the charming social worker whom you love instead of the rich doctor mom is pushing on you. BUT I'M WAITING FOR DR. KOVAC!! Move to Europe if it will make you happy, even if your girlfriends are making you feel guilty about putting distance between you. LIVE ABROAD! THAT'S AN IDEA! HOW ABOUT MOVE TO HONG KONG? BUT WAIT A MINUTE, I'M ALREADY LIVING ABROAD. Say no when someone asks you to do something you really don't want to do. Be who you want to be, do what you want to do and the rewards will be plentiful, says Kirshenbaum. "When you live your life for other people, you put out the effort, but they get the benefit," she adds. "This creates an energy drain, just the way it would if you did the work on a job and someone else got the paycheck." You'll free up energy you didn't even know you had once you quit worrying about what mom, your friends and other family members think about your decisions. HMM.. I DON'T COOK. I SELDOM CLEAN THE BATHROOM. I'M SINGLE. I THINK I GOT THIS ONE COVERED!
2. Bring positive people into your world. You need to surround yourself with people who care about and support you even in your darkest hours. Avoid those who nag, complain or involve you in their problems, says Kirshenbaum. BUT MOST WOMEN COMPLAIN. SOMETIMES ALL THEY DO IS COMPLAIN! Toxic people, who put you down to lift their own spirits, suck the life right out of you. Spending more time with those who make you feel good about yourself or inspire you in some way will revive you. Maybe it's time to start ignoring your so-called friend who leaves messages on your machine only when she needs help with something.
3. Always have something big and new on your agenda. Plan that next vacation or start writing that novel you have in your head. Looking forward to milestones and events stimulates people. It gives you a reason to get out of bed in the morning, and that increases your desire to work toward your goals. "You gain energy from the hopes you have for your future? making your present feel more manageable, and that, too, frees up emotional energy," says Kirshenbaum. Actually putting the wheels in motion (for example, calling the travel agent, writing the outline for the book) will also make you feel better -- and excited to keep it up. I'M GOING TO HONG KONG IN JULY, GOING TO WATCH SANTANA IN JUNE, ROB THOMAS NEXT WEEKEND AND I AM FLYING TO TX THIS FRIDAY. I GOT THIS ONE DOWN!!!
4. Never live in the past. Quit dwelling on what might have happened with that old boyfriend if you had just stayed together, why you quit one job in favor of another, what would have been if you made different decisions. I THINK I'M GOING TO START CRYING NOW! :( Instead, focus on the here and now and what you need to do to move forward. Do you want to go back to school? NEVER LEFT SCHOOL Find a husband? NOPE Change careers? MAYBE Be more adventurous? MAYBE Put the spark back in your romance? N/A "You are in charge of the meaning in your life," Kirshenbaum writes in her book. Although you can't predict everything that will happen to you, you can make a flexible plan to accomplish your goals. Things like your career path, UNLESS OF COURSE I GET LAID OFF OR SOMETHING relationships in which you'd like to invest and how you would like to spend your free time are all under your control. You can decide your own destiny, an important task that will be much easier now that you have more energy.
nothing compares 2u
by Angel
I had forgotten how great this song is until I sang it the other night at a friend's karaoke bday party. There are some songs that are ok, good, but this song is one of the greatest and definitely leaves a mark...
Watch the video
Nothing Compares 2 U by Sinead O'Connor
It's been seven hours and fifteen days
Since u took your love away
I go out every night and sleep all day
Since u took your love away
Since u been gone I can do whatever I want
I can see whomever I choose
I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant
But nothing
I said nothing can take away these blues
`Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares 2 u
It's been so lonely without u here
Like a bird without a song
Nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling
Tell me baby where did I go wrong
I could put my arms around every boy I see
But they'd only remind me of you
I went to the doctor n'guess what he told me
Guess what he told me
He said girl u better try to have fun
No matter what u do
But he's a fool
`Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares 2 u
All the flowers that u planted, mama
In the back yard
All died when u went away
I know that living with u baby was sometimes hard
But I'm willing to give it another try
Nothing compares
Nothing compares 2 u
Nothing compares
Nothing compares 2 u
Nothing compares
Nothing compares 2 u
Watch the video
Nothing Compares 2 U by Sinead O'Connor
It's been seven hours and fifteen days
Since u took your love away
I go out every night and sleep all day
Since u took your love away
Since u been gone I can do whatever I want
I can see whomever I choose
I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant
But nothing
I said nothing can take away these blues
`Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares 2 u
It's been so lonely without u here
Like a bird without a song
Nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling
Tell me baby where did I go wrong
I could put my arms around every boy I see
But they'd only remind me of you
I went to the doctor n'guess what he told me
Guess what he told me
He said girl u better try to have fun
No matter what u do
But he's a fool
`Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares 2 u
All the flowers that u planted, mama
In the back yard
All died when u went away
I know that living with u baby was sometimes hard
But I'm willing to give it another try
Nothing compares
Nothing compares 2 u
Nothing compares
Nothing compares 2 u
Nothing compares
Nothing compares 2 u
Fight Club
Sunday, April 17, 2005 by Angel
You are not your job. You are not the money in your bank account. You are not the car you drive. You are not how much money is in your wallet. You are not your fucking khakis. You are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.
We are the middle children of history, with no purpose or place. Our generation has had no Great Depression, no Great War. Our war is spiritual. Our depression is our lives.
The things you own end up owning you.
It's only after you've lost everything that you are free to do anything.
--Tyler Durden, "Fight Club"
I am watching Fight Club for the Nth time. It's great!
We are the middle children of history, with no purpose or place. Our generation has had no Great Depression, no Great War. Our war is spiritual. Our depression is our lives.
The things you own end up owning you.
It's only after you've lost everything that you are free to do anything.
--Tyler Durden, "Fight Club"
I am watching Fight Club for the Nth time. It's great!
Saturday, April 16, 2005 by Angel
I need a sewing machine so I can start making my own clothes... I'm dying to get one of these ponchos/shawls, but I just can't bring myself to spend all that money for something that I can actually make...
Happy Friday!!!!
Friday, April 15, 2005 by Angel
Wanna fall in love?
Watch Back At One by Brian McKnight
Watch Back At One by Brian McKnight
Love's Recovery
Thursday, April 14, 2005 by Angel
During the time of which I speak it was hard to turn the other cheek
To the blows of insecurity
Feeding the cancer of my intellect the blood of love soon neglected
Lay dying in the strength of its impurity
Meanwhile our friends we thought were so together
They've all gone and left each other in search of fairer weather
And we sit here in our storm and drink a toast
To the slim chance of love's recovery.
There I am in younger days, star gazing,
Painting picture perfect maps of how my life and love would be
Not counting the unmarked paths of misdirection
My compass, faith in love's perfection
I missed ten million miles of road I should have seen
Meanwhile our friends we thought were so together
Left each other one by one in search of fairer weather
And we sit here in our storm and drink a toast
To the slim chance of love's recovery.
Rain soaked and voice choked like silent screaming in a dream
I search for our absolute distinction
Not content to bow and bend
To the whims of culture that swoop like vultures
Eating us away, eating us away
Eating us away to our extinction
Oh how I wish I were a trinity, so if I lost a part of me
I'd still have two of the same to live
But nobody gets a lifetime rehearsal, as specks of dust we're universal
To let this love survive would be the greatest gift we could give
Tell all the friends who think they're so together
That these are ghosts and mirages, these thoughts of fairer weather
Though it's storming out I feel safe within the arms of love's discovery
-Indigo Girls
To the blows of insecurity
Feeding the cancer of my intellect the blood of love soon neglected
Lay dying in the strength of its impurity
Meanwhile our friends we thought were so together
They've all gone and left each other in search of fairer weather
And we sit here in our storm and drink a toast
To the slim chance of love's recovery.
There I am in younger days, star gazing,
Painting picture perfect maps of how my life and love would be
Not counting the unmarked paths of misdirection
My compass, faith in love's perfection
I missed ten million miles of road I should have seen
Meanwhile our friends we thought were so together
Left each other one by one in search of fairer weather
And we sit here in our storm and drink a toast
To the slim chance of love's recovery.
Rain soaked and voice choked like silent screaming in a dream
I search for our absolute distinction
Not content to bow and bend
To the whims of culture that swoop like vultures
Eating us away, eating us away
Eating us away to our extinction
Oh how I wish I were a trinity, so if I lost a part of me
I'd still have two of the same to live
But nobody gets a lifetime rehearsal, as specks of dust we're universal
To let this love survive would be the greatest gift we could give
Tell all the friends who think they're so together
That these are ghosts and mirages, these thoughts of fairer weather
Though it's storming out I feel safe within the arms of love's discovery
-Indigo Girls
Thoughts past midnight
Tuesday, April 12, 2005 by Angel
I find solace in listening to music. I turn all the lights off, light a candle or two and listen to great music through my mp3 player or laptop. With my eyes closed, I slowly take it all in - words, music, emotion. It amazes me how can some people create such magic and in some way transform everything around you into their world - in less than 4 minutes (8 if you're listening to Billy Joel). I sometimes wonder if my listenening to music is a means to escape my world. Maybe.. but there really is nothing wrong with that.
Currently listening to Cleaning Out My Closet
It was a good day and its ending just as nicely. I look forward to a very relaxing sleep and to another day full of music!
Currently listening to Cleaning Out My Closet
It was a good day and its ending just as nicely. I look forward to a very relaxing sleep and to another day full of music!
Busy
by Angel
Taking a break from yet another busy day at work.
It's going to be a really busy and expensive month. There are 4 birthday celebrations, one wedding, two out of town trips and one concert to go to. It's all good though. I'd rather be out and doing things rather than sitting at home doing school work or watching indie films. Hmmm... Tribeca Film Fest starts next week! I will have more reasons to go downtown other than to have sha long bao's and bubba tea!
It's going to be a really busy and expensive month. There are 4 birthday celebrations, one wedding, two out of town trips and one concert to go to. It's all good though. I'd rather be out and doing things rather than sitting at home doing school work or watching indie films. Hmmm... Tribeca Film Fest starts next week! I will have more reasons to go downtown other than to have sha long bao's and bubba tea!
Saturday, April 09, 2005 by Angel
I'm a bit sleepy now, but would like to let the world know that I finally had a hair cut!! Hey, I can't deny who I am and what I am is not one of your average, ordinary long haired gals.. :)
delicate - a very depressing song
by Angel
we might kiss
when we are alone
when nobody’s watchin’
we might take it home
we might make out
when nobody's there
it's not that we're scared
it's just that it's delicate
so why d’ya fill my sorrow
with the words you've borrowed
from the only place you've known
why d’ya sing hallelujah
if it means nothin’ to ya
why d’ya sing with me at all?
we might live
like never before
when there's nothin’ to give
how can we ask for more?
we might make love
in some sacred place
that look on your face
is delicate
so why d’ya fill my sorrow
with the words you've borrowed
from the only place you've known
why d’ya sing hallelujah
if it means nothin’ to ya
why d’ya sing with me at all?
watch the video
when we are alone
when nobody’s watchin’
we might take it home
we might make out
when nobody's there
it's not that we're scared
it's just that it's delicate
so why d’ya fill my sorrow
with the words you've borrowed
from the only place you've known
why d’ya sing hallelujah
if it means nothin’ to ya
why d’ya sing with me at all?
we might live
like never before
when there's nothin’ to give
how can we ask for more?
we might make love
in some sacred place
that look on your face
is delicate
so why d’ya fill my sorrow
with the words you've borrowed
from the only place you've known
why d’ya sing hallelujah
if it means nothin’ to ya
why d’ya sing with me at all?
watch the video
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