the red and blue of me

can't sleep. maybe its because i've been sleepy/ taking naps all day today and yesterday. there is something up with me... i seek solace through this journal.

it's interesting how we sortof use different languages to communicate with different people. we speak differently with our parents, siblings, friends, etc.. when our ways of communication differ with every person that we interact with, do we then represent our 'whole' selves differently too? parents see one side, friends see another and a handful of people, whom you fully trust, see the whole you.

i haven't listened to indigo girls in a while...

i had a great conversation with a co-worker last friday. we seem to share similar views on relationships, independence and marriage. while its easy for some people to dive into relationships and transform into something else (in varying degrees), its hard for her.. and its definitely hard for me. i am having a hard time letting go of my being an individual. its hard to trust someone to have some control over me or have negative influence on me. (i have spent my whole life creating myself!) the ideal, of course, is to find someone who would only influence you positively and challenge you to become better and be the best that you can be. but then again we can do that on our own.

i have to try to get some sleep. i have work tomorrow.