the red and blue of me

I went to my second Yoga class last night. I am not a big fan of Yoga. I prefer Pilates. But Yoga was the only class offered during my free time yesterday so I had no other option. It was pretty good. It was better than my first Yoga class. I stretched like elasta-girl!

Today I am pumped enough to attend my 3rd Body Pump class of the week. I am really excited to know how this new instructor is going to teach Body Pump. I hope she picks good songs.

After working out I might just stay home and continue reading this awesome book while I work. Yes, I have to work today and tomorrow. One of the major reporting databases is moving to a different platform this weekend. So I need to monitor and make sure all feeds run properly.




My Mother's Keeper. A Daughter's Memoir of Growing Up in the Shadow of Schizophrenia. The best part of this book is that it happened in Austin, Texas!

holy moly! i am soo stuffed that i can barely breathe! this buffet palace was soo good! they had decent sushi, chinese food, soups, crab legs, shrimps, etc. for just $10.95/person. and the place looks decent too...

i'm chatting with my co-worker about regrets. things that we wished we coulda woulda shoulda done but didn't. he has a list..top 10 regrets. I'm #8. interesting, huh? i'm part of somebody's list of regrets. i think am going to create a list for myself. not living downtown austin is definitely going to be part of the list. i should have lived downtown before buying a house. let me think about this list first before i continue this blog.

ok.. I'm back and below is my unfinished list of regrets.

I regret…

1.Not living downtown Austin before buying a house
2.Not removing toxic people from my wedding
3.Not buying the awesome and cheap goose down comforter, jade bracelet in Beijing, China! Come on, how often do I get a chance to go to China!!!
4.Buying my leased car… I should have ended the lease and bought an older, cheaper car in CASH!
5.Not learning how to swim during my swim classes
6.Not planning my own bachelorette party. I wanted to see some skin but instead I attended a party full of fluff and stuff that had nothing to do with me or what I want.
7.

I'm getting ready for my body pump class and thought of sharing a video of it. It's super awesome! Everyone should try it!!! I'm out!

my life is made up of a bunch of "tasks" to do. i get up, shower, eat breakfast, work, eat lunch, work some more, eat dinner, go to the gym, shower if needed, watch TV/read, cuddle then sleep. some tasks change depending on the day of the week and on weekends, an occasional social task is added. but i pretty much do the same stuff day in and day out.

is this it? am i supposed to just live life like this? yes i have goals and i try to attain most if not all of them every single day. but there's got to be more to life than tasks, rituals, goals.

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I've got it all, but I feel so deprived
I go up, I come down and I'm emptier inside
Tell me what is this thing that I feel like I'm missing
And why can't I let it go

There's gotta be more to life...
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm...
Trippin' out thinkin' there must be more to life
Well it's life, but I'm sure... There's gotta be more

I've got the time and I'm wasting it slowly
Here in this moment I'm half-way out the door
Onto the next thing, I'm searching for something that's missing

it's after 5pm. i'm at home in my pj's (still!), listening to my newly created station on pandora.com with warm diet coke on the desk... a perfect time to blog!

some updates:
-i am listening to alanis morisette again! she's pretty good.. can be a bit annoying at times, but good overall. she definitely sings from the heart! i think am gonna start singing her songs at karaoke.
-i started buying more stocks! i'm on finance.google.com every friggin day! i don't plan on making millions, i just want an alternative to cd's and mma's.
-i'm a member gold's gym once again. i don't have a trainer this time, i just go to classes (which I love!). body pump rocks!!

some thoughts:
-pms stinks! i know everybody knows this but i just want to stress the fact that the chemical imbalance that happens to young women every friggin month is so friggin annoying! i turn in to this sad, depressed, lonely and angry-at-everything and-everybody girl for 3 days every month! wtf!!?? do me and yourselves a favor and leave me alone during this time of the month.
-dating stinks! yeah, i am married and i am done with dating. but i can't help but observe people who are dating. there are some men and women who are absolute jerks. its pretty painful to watch. how can people find love if they treat people like dirt? maybe they are not looking for love.

Your House
by Alanis Morissette

I went to your house
Walked up the stairs
I opened your door without ringing the bell
I walked down the hall
Into your room
Where I could smell you
And I shouldn't be here, without permission
I shouldn't be here

Would you forgive me love
If I danced in your shower
Would you forgive me love
If I laid in your bed
Would you forgive me love
If I stay all afternoon

I took off my clothes
Put on your robe
I went through your drawers
And found your cologne
Went down to the den
Found your CD's
And I played your Joni
And I shouldn't stay long, you might be home soon
I shouldn't stay long

Would you forgive me love
If I danced in your shower
Would you forgive me love
If I laid in your bed
Would you forgive me love
If I stay all afternoon

I burned your incense
I ran a bath
I noticed a letter that sat on your desk
It said "Hello love, I love you so love, meet me at midnight"
And no, it wasn't my writing
I'd better go soon
It wasn't my writing

So forgive me love
If I cry in your shower
So forgive me love
For the salt in your bed
So forgive me love
If I cry all afternoon

Holy guacamole! Nobody...NO BODY told me that the first year of marriage was going to be HARD! I knew marriage is hard work but I didn't think it was going to be this hard. Man! I feel like I am a triangle being transformed to a circle or an ice cube slowly melting to its liquid state. It's friggin hard! All of our differences are now maginified! All of my values, priorities are challenged! I'm tired and sometimes a bit depressed. I have perfected the art of being single and have managed my single life very well - emotionally, socially, spiritually and financially! Now that I am married, I am completely lost! None of my previous rules apply! Every single aspect of my way of living has changed. I am a complete mess!
AAAGGHHHHH!!!

As I welcome 2009, I remember 2008…

Before I officially welcome the New Year, I want to officially bid farewell to 2008. After all, the year 2008 brought lots of good times and some bad times for me that pretty much changed me for the better.

The year that was 2008, brought some life-altering events for me and my family. Below are some of the highlights:

`January: Mom got married
`February: Brother bought a condo
`Jan-Jul: I learned and experienced the joy of wedding planning
`July 3, 2008: I married the love of my life!
`July: My parents (with their significant others) had a peaceful reconciliation `after 20 years of not seeing each other
`July: I found out who my true friends were
`August: Me and hubby went to the Philippines and spent some time with my sis and bro
`Sep-Nov: I joined the National Karaoke League
`Nov: Me and hubby along with kuya and friends went to NY for Thanksgiving and spent time with my relatives
`Nov: Kuya and Berrin got engaged
`Dec: Spent Christmas with my hubby’s family for the first time

Welcome 2009!!

It's almost June. I cannot believe I haven't blogged since November of 2008. I am not sure why. As usual, I have lots of thoughts/ideas on my mind. I wish I were a writer so I could find a way to write all of my thoughts down. But I'm a techie and a singer so I cannot write. I am going to try to write about what's currently on my mind though..

-my blog
yes, i have changed my blog's template once again. i like this new one. i like the font and color. i think i may have used this sometime long long ago. i also added a video bar at the bottom which only plays videos by matchbox twenty!


-liars
why do people lie? yeah, i know everybody lies. but there are some people who lie so much that they don't even know they are lying. they lie about big things and small things. they lie about people in their lives, their past, their opinions, ideas, etc. i sometimes think that they lie to remove themselves from their own self, to hide from the truth and create a made up world. they are too weak and cannot face reality so they lie. it's pretty sad.


-marriage
married life has been tough. i'm not going to lie about that. it is very tough. i sometimes feel like i am being pushed out of my embryo, my comfort zone, my happy place and being released in to this world of the unknown. i have never been married before so every moment of every day is part of the learning curve for me. it's challenging to be "as one" with somebody who is your complete opposite. every day is full of surprises and new events.

ahhhh.... i am able to blog once again... it's been months since my last post. my thoughts have been so scattered that i haven't had the energy to blog em.

anyways, i am stuffed. i just had grilled pork and rice - a vietnamese dish from saigon. it's ok. i was hungry so i chowed it down like a hungry cow. i shouldn't do that.. its bad for digestion.

anyways again, i really should write about more important stuff like...

my mom is going back to the philippines next month for 2.5 weeks. that trip should be good. she hasn't been back since 2006.